For some, seeking help is a struggle

The weekend after Kyle Ambrogi committed suicide, family and friends crowded a church in his hometown of Havertown, Pa., for his memorial service. Nobody expected to be attending the Wharton senior's funeral so soon.

In many ways, Ambrogi, who shot himself in his suburban home on Oct. 10, hardly seemed to be a typical suicide. He was popular and well-liked, a successful student and athlete. The weekend before his death, he helped lead the Penn football team to victory over Bucknell.

But underneath the veneer of success, Ambrogi had battled depression for several years -- a fact many of his friends knew, but that few understood.

Some were aware he had been in therapy, while still thinking that depression was unlikely in a "vibrant" and "bubbly" varsity athlete.

Depression is "definitely not something I ever would have associated with one of my friends," said Wharton senior Rob Mattar, one of Ambrogi's roommates. "This really hits home. People realize that ... it could happen to them."

And now, in the wake of her oldest son's death, Ambrogi's mother has embarked on a mission to teach college students that mental illness can affect anyone, even the star of the football team.

Donna Ambrogi -- a former nurse at the Thomas Jefferson University Hospital -- wants the Penn community to know that suicide is preventable. What happened to her son, she said, should never happen to anybody else.

"We have a huge issue with depression," she said. "People are afraid that this is a weakness, [but] it's an illness. It can be treated."

Each year, there are more than 1,000 suicides on college campuses. Suicide is the second-leading cause of death among college students.

And its causes -- often mental illnesses like depression and bipolar disorder -- are often misunderstood.

While Ambrogi's mother said that he had been undergoing counseling for his depression, experts say many college students are reluctant to seek help because mental illness still carries a stigma.

Many people "do not understand ... how a person who's depressed can be a terrific friend and out there doing all kinds of things, [is] not the person in bed," said Donna Satow, founder of the New York-based Jed Foundation, a nonprofit group dedicated to suicide prevention and education.

While William Alexander -- deputy director of Penn's Counseling and Psychological Services -- said that about 10 percent of Penn's students see CAPS counselors each year, he added that the Penn community still needs to be better educated about mental illness.

"People may feel like [depression is] their fault, like they've done something wrong," said psychiatrist David Fassler, who runs the American Psychiatric Association's task force on college mental health. "They don't realize that it's an illness as much as diabetes or hypertension."

More thorough mental-health education, Fassler said, might make it more socially acceptable for those who suffer from depression to see a therapist.

Without education, students also may not know how to go about dealing with friends who are depressed.

"You want to give somebody their space," Mattar said. "Rather than trying to put myself in a counselor's position, I just tried to be a good friend. ... If [he] ever want[ed] to talk to a friend about it, we [were] here. I think he knew that."

But many students, especially athletes, can have a hard time expressing their problems to peers.

"Athletes face particular challenges because ... they often have a special status on many campuses. They're supposed to be perfect," Fassler said. "It can make it more difficult for them to admit when they're having problems and to ask for help."

After the outpouring of support for Ambrogi's family -- his mother said she has received hundreds of phone calls and letters -- Donna Ambrogi now wants students to know that there are many ways to combat depression at Penn, from seeking counseling at CAPS to talking to friends for support.

"Most kids [at Penn] are very accomplished, very bright, and [depression] is considered a failure," Donna Ambrogi said. "None of us are perfect. ... You have to be able to put your life in perspective." Mental health facts - About 10 percent of Penn students see a counselor at Counseling and Psychological Services each year - More than 1,000 college students commit suicide each year - Suicide is the second-leading cause of death among college students

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