The Daily Pennsylvanian is a student-run nonprofit.

Please support us by disabling your ad blocker on our site.

Saturday, we PrognostiQuakers were driving down the New Jersey Turnpike on our way home from a win at Columbia last weekend. We felt a bump. A bump in the world's greatest road? Mighty suspicious, we thought. It must be Jimmy Hoffa. So the legend goes that the former head of the Teamsters is buried under the New Jersey Turnpike, under Tony Soprano's garage or possibly beneath the west end zone of the Meadowlands. Our tenuous connection to organized labor could not have come at a better time with the still-undefeated Quakers set to face off against the always collective bargaining-challenged Yale. It seems that the Elis, when not "educating" presidents or eating porn and watching chicken (we don't really know the details) are having a problem with everyone at their school going on striking quatra-annually. And you thought GET-UP was annoying. Well, you're right, they are. But Yale's problems are worse. We called up a total of seven Hoffas. However, most likely since they feared mob reprisal, they refused to talk to us. Promising Mr. L anonymity of both name and location, he agreed to speak to us and predict the game. "I could ask my uncle Jimmy," Mr. L helpfully suggested as a solution to Yale's problems. Unfortunately, Hoffas never learn. In the worst case of rigged voting since Jimmy's election to the head of the Teamsters from jail, Mr. L picked Yale. Mr L. Hoffa of Prospect, Conn. Hope you like Jersey, buddy. Penn 271, Yale 266 Week Six Picks

NameYale at PennBrown at CornellCol. at DartmouthP'ton at Harvard
Daniel "D-Mac" McQuade (28-4) Penn 198-3 Corn. 23-13 Col. 13-3 Harv. 80-8
Steve "Big smooth" Brauntuch (27-5) Penn 35-21 Corn. 7-3 Col. 14-10 Harv. 31-7
Lewis "Gotta have" Hart (27-5) Penn 31-24 Corn. 35-14 Dart. 21-17 Harv. 56-7
Jeff "Par for the course" Shafer (25-7) Penn 525-16 Brown 6-2 Col. 20-16 Harv. 84-0
Mary "Mike Lupoli" Kinosian (24-8) Penn 33-31 Brown 27-17 Col. 17-10 Harv. 42-10
Amy "Steve Bilsky" Potter (24-8) Penn 55-3 Brown 17-14 Dart. 19-7 Harv. 45-9
Marla "By three we're" Dunn (23-9) Penn 60-35 Corn. 41-8 Dart. 25-20 Harv. 7-0
James "Kyle Bender II" Freeman (22-10) Penn 55-21 Corn. 17-14 Col. 31-28 Harv. 45-13
Josh "Free Kobe" Pollick (22-10) Penn 56-0 Corn. 7-6 Dart. 21-20 Harv. 35-3
Zachary "Bound volumes" Silver (22-10) Penn 40-4 Brown 23-0 Col. 22-0 Harv. 52-3
Maddy "MadDogg" Read (21-11) Penn 21-6 Corn. 10-9 Dart. 31-7 Harv. 21-11
Helen "Queen Swami" Sessoms (21-11) Penn 40-10 Corn. 30-8 Dart. 20-8 Harv. 28-5
Andrew "Drugs" DeLaney (19-13) Penn 17-3 Brown 10-0 Dart. 35-3 Harv. 35-7
Greg "Wire Master" Muller (19-13) Penn 40.8-3 Brown 7-3 Dart. 16-3 Harv. 17-10
Comments powered by Disqus

Please note All comments are eligible for publication in The Daily Pennsylvanian.