So Penn beat Dartmouth last week. We think. And that's because there was a small turnout for the game: only the players, media, refs and Engelbert J. Lampwick, an elderly man from Hanover, N.H., watched. Maybe a great football announcer put it best: "I think it's safe to say that all these fans came here to see a game of FOOTBALL!" Something told us that this week, talking to someone wouldn't be the right thing to do. Here at PrognostiQuaking HQ, we're big fans of EA video games. Right now, we're obsessed with Tiger Woods 2004. Before that, it was Madden 2004. Before that, NCAA Football 2004. (Side note: FIFA World Cup 2004 comes out Oct. 28. We like presents.) So we decided to pit the Penn Quakers against the Bucknell Bison in a game of NCAA Football 2004. Problem is, Bucknell isn't in the game. (Neither is an accurate representation of Franklin Field... sigh.) So, we did the best we could: Penn took on the Howard Bison, which is pretty much the same school as Bucknell in that it's a school. It started off badly, with great Bison QB No. 12 leading Bucknell/Howard to a 13-0 lead halftime lead. We came back, however, and on the strength of two Patrick McManus interceptions and two Michael Recchiuti TD receptions. Then, a last second TD catch by Joe Phillips gave the Quakers the win by four. NCAA 2004 then told us -- no lie -- that we had just completed "The No. 1 Greatest Game of All-Time." Alright. Now back to Tiger Woods. Penn 24, Bucknell/Howard 20
Week Four Picks
| Daniel "D-Mac" McQuade (18-2) | Penn 198-3 | Harv. 34-13 | Yale 19-16 | Ford. 6-2 | Laf. 44-10 | Colg. 337-0 | |
| Steve "Big smooth" Brauntuch (17-3) | Penn 27-14 | Harv. 42-6 | Yale 35-28 | Ford. 7-3 | Laf. 17-14 | Colg. 34-3 | |
| Lewis "Gotta have" Hart (16-4) | Penn 44-14 | Harv. 31-17 | Yale 35-10 | Ford. 21-7 | Laf. 21-20 | Colg. 35-14 | |
| Mary "Poopy brain" Kinosian (16-4) | Penn 33-17 | Harv. 47-10 | Yale 35-10 | Ford. 21-17 | Col. 17-10 | Colg. 21-17 | |
| Amy "Steve Bilsky" Potter (16-4) | Penn 35-14 | Harv. 42-6 | Yale 21-14 | Ford. 17-14 | Laf. 17-7 | Colg. 21-10 | |
| Jeff"Par for the course" Shafer (15-5) | Penn 19-18 | Harv. 35-13 | Yale 65-9 | Ford. 66-2 | Laf. 17-16 | Colg. 28-10 | |
| James "Kyle Bender II" Freeman (14-6) | Penn 41-13 | Harv. 28-9 | Yale 38-14 | Ford. 34-13 | Laf. 27-14 | Colg. 31-9 | |
| Helen "Queen Swami" Sessoms (14-6) | Penn 36-10 | Harv. 21-13 | Yale 36-14 | Ford. 6-5 | Col. 7-6 | Colg. 35-14 | |
| Zachary "Bound volumes" Silver (14-6) | Penn 19-08 | Harv. 45-19 | Yale 84-19 | Brown 89-19 | Laf. 98-19 | Cubs 20-03 | |
| Marla "By three we're" Dunn (13-7) | Penn 49-7 | Harv. 22-21 | Yale 66-7 | Ford. 7-3 | Laf. 16-13 | Colg. 72-0 | |
| Greg "Wire Junk" Muller (13-7) | Penn 38-21 | Harv. 71-23 | Corn. 28-16 | Brown 20-17 | Laf. 33-20 | P'ton. 13-7 | |
| Andrew "Drugs" DeLaney (12-8) | Penn 35-10 | Harv. 36-10 | Yale 40-16 | Ford. 15-6 | Col. 7-6 | Colg. 78-7 | |
| Josh "Free Kobe" Pollick (12-8) | Penn 30-3 | Harv. 35-21 | Yale 6-0 | Ford. 10-7 | Col. 28-24 | Colg. 21-2 | |
| Maddy "MadDogg" Read (12-8) | Penn 54-0 | Harv. 21-7 | Yale 62-16 | Ford. 27-17 | Col. 16-9 | Colg. 20-3 |
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