From Reshma Yaqub's "Text, Translation and Commentary," Spring '92. I'm also going to learn how to cook because I've eaten enough junk food to last three lifetimes. I'm going to take an aerobics class as long as it's not at 1 p.m., because that's when I'll be watching "All My Children." Every morning my husband will have his clothes laid out for him when he gets out of the shower, and at 6 p.m. he is going to come home to find a hot dinner on the table. "Don't do it!" my mortified friends beseech me. "Don't sacrifice everything for your husband! Don't give up your career, your life, your ambitions. You're destroying the Women's Liberation Movement. Don't become . . . a . . . a . . . housewife!" Whoa, wait a second. I didn't realize I had the weight of the entire feminist movement on my shoulders -- and even if I do, I didn't realize I was being a traitor to it. Frankly, I'm a feminist myself. I thought times were a' changin'. I thought our female ancestors had fought long enough and hard enough, and we now had secured the most important right in the land: the freedom to choose. To choose who we would spend our lives with, how we would spend them and who we would answer to. I guess not. Hilary Clinton, married to presidential hopeful Bill "sore throat" Clinton, graciously expounded on the subject for the public record. Extolling her own virtues as an accomplished lawyer, she reminded us that she's so successful because she didn't stay at home to bake cookies all day. And furthermore, she ain't no Tammy Wynette who wastes time in such mindless pursuits as standing by her man. How utterly degrading to all women. Forty years ago, there were relatively few life choices available to women. Most of our grandmothers took care of their kids and washed dishes. The fast track didn't have a glass ceiling back then -- it had a glass door. Women were pigeonholed into one career: domestic management. And despite the many virtues of such a pursuit, many women resented the fact that societal expectation and peer pressure forced them into it. Similarly, I resent the implication that females today have to be "Superwomen." They have to juggle a husband, kids, household, career, PTA, all the while looking incredibly sexy in a mini and torturous high heels. Happiness, of course, is left by the wayside, not to mention sleep. Today we are being pigeonholed again, against our will, into having full time careers. It's a lie to say that women can have it all in our society. We can work our butts off -- but because we have so many more responsibilities than men, it is impossible to succeed completely at one endeavor without sacrificing something else equally important. We spread ourselves too thin. How nice it would be to deny this unpleasantness, but I have spoken to dozens of older women who agree. Women who work full time invariably regret missing important parts of their children's lives. And many homemakers never forget the dreams they shelved. Men don't have this problem, because society doesn't demand that men do it all. They are supposed to work nine to five, and when they get home they are supposed to relax with their beautiful wives and dimpled children. So, men don't feel guilty and they don't have regrets about skimping on family or career. They can do both because -- unlike women -- their responsibility at home is limited to relaxing and deriving pleasure from their families. Even in homes where both partners work full time, studies show that women still do over 70 percent of the housework. Instead of wearing myself out and eventually having to make a choice anyway, I've decided to prioritize now. Though I expect to work outside the home at some point in my life, at least for a few years, I will always subordinate my career to my family. That basically means I will follow my husband to the ends of the earth, I will stand by my man, and I will love it. That's nothing to be ashamed of -- in fact, it's a source of pride for me. The satisfaction I will derive from making my family's life easier, "funner," better, is worth the sacrifice I am making. Setting out cookies and milk for my kids after school, listening to what they did all day, being a huge influence in their lives and a role model to them, kissing my husband hello and goodbye everyday, balancing my family's budget, doing our taxes, clipping coupons, reading The New York Times, making important decisions with my husband, keeping my home beautiful . . . these are all sources of intrinsic satisfaction to me. But yes, I may never know the power of firing someone who doesn't follow my orders, the sheer excitement of a corporate takeover, the exhilaration of a case won. All I'm saying is that every woman has to make a choice. Unfortunately she can not have it all, because it's impossible to meet the expectations of our society and still be happy or healthy. When you make your choice, keep in mind that staying at home -- even if it's just for a few years -- is a precious and viable alternative. It's something to be proud of. It's a full-time job in itself. You can be a housewife and still be a successful, intellectual, vibrant, exciting, personable, valuable, contributing member of society. If Hilary Clinton's up to it, I'd be glad to bake her some cookies and sit down with her to discuss the true meaning of feminism. Reshma Memon Yaqub is a senior Political Science major from Potomac, Maryland. Text, Translation and Commentary appeared alternate Wednesdays.
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