Editorial: Catcalls

To the ticket office for picking an arbitrary and capricious method for selling Basketball season tickets. To Spectacor and the Athletic Department for hiring so many guards to stand in all the empty bleachers during football games. How much money is this wasting? To everyone who rides down Locust Walk. To the Pennsylvania Liquor Control Board for making the Grinch look compassionate. To the evil-minded Big Brother who declared that all "undecided" upperclass students should be blocked from registration on PARIS. To Lucien Blackwell, the man who can't even spell "solution." To the Committee to Diversify Locust Walk for failing to suggest ways to move at least some fraternities off the Walk. To the UA. (Sorry, we just couldn't resist.) To the Campus Center Building Committee for coming up with a modernistic monstrosity that could more aptly be called "The Bookstore with More Shops At Penn." To Marna Whittington for feeding the city's debt habit with a high-interest rate loan from the University. To the Department of Defense for excluding gays, lesbians and bisexuals from national service in the military. To University Police for keeping police reports confidential, despite state open records laws that may mean the practice is illegal. To the University administration for attempting to white-wash real concerns raised by the Mayor's Scholarship suit with a public relations blitz. To the University administration for only allocating an extra $500 a year to each Mayor's Scholar. To the complaintants in the Mayor's Scholarship suit for being stubborn and refusing to negotiate an out-of-court settlement with the University. To Dining Service for gouging students who live on campus and wish to purchase only five meals a week. To McGinn Security Services for hiring teenagers to serve as security guards in University dormitories. To the University administration for failing to fire McGinn after the revelations were made. To the Book Store for taking such a big mark-up on textbooks and giving so little in return during buy-backs. (The candy bars are a nice gesture, but don't make up for the fact that the store gives as little as $1 back on many books.) To President Sheldon Hackney for selling out the University's name (and College Hall's facade) to a few slick Hollywood movie producers. To University Trustee Carol Eininger for suggesting that the University build a low "three-foot high" wall around campus to deter criminals.

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