Comedy, charity at mayoral show

In what turned out to be Frank Rizzo's last public appearance with his mayoral opponents, candidates gathered at the Bank Street Comedy Club last Thursday to square off in a contest to determine the funniest mayoral candidate. Red, white and blue confetti covered the floor, and smoke filled the air, as each candidate took the stage to present his own stand-up comedy routine. Rizzo, the first candidate to arrive at the club for the standing room only charity event, received an enthusiastic standing ovation from those in already in attendence. Rizzo was soon joined by fellow candidates Dennis Wesley, a Republican who dropped out of this year's primary to run for mayor as an independent, and Democratic nominee Edward Rendell, who arrived late and spent the rest of the evening living down the shame of his tardiness. It was the final time Rizzo would appear with his fellow candidates. Rizzo died Tuesday afternoon, the victim of a sudden heart attack. The event was organized by Philadelphia Daily News columnist Stu Bykofsky, who has staged a ficticious bid for the mayor's office in his column, under the aegis of the "Birthday Party." He also competed in the comedy contest. However, of the four, it was Rendell who received the first opportunity to skewer his opponents. "My first thought was to bring the text of the last city council meeting and read it to you," Rendell began. The joke had audience members laughing from the outset -- including City Councilmen Thatcher Longstreth and Angel Ortiz. But Rendell saved his best material for Rizzo. "You are a very, very important part of this city's past, and that's the way we're going to keep it," Rendell told the former mayor. Stu Bykofsky was up next. The columnist began by describing his well-thought out campaign for the coveted title of mayor of Philadelphia. If he won the November election, he said, he would demand a recount. If he was still declared the winner, he would move to Cherry Hill, New Jersey, and fight extradition. Rizzo followed Bykofsky. He, of course, relished the opportunity to turn the tables and poke fun at Rendell. "Only good thing I know about him, he married an I-talian," Rizzo said in his characteristically blunt style. But it was a limerick about University alums Rendell and George Burrell, a mayoral candidate Rendell defeated in the May primary, that won Rizzo the most approval. There once was a man named Rendell, Whose ambition no one could quell. He's got such a yen, He's enrolled now at Penn, Taking Campaign 101 with Burrell. Dennis Wesley, the self-proclaimed "stealth candidate," used some of his time to get back at Bykofsky. Earlier in the evening, Bykofsky claimed Wesley was under the mistaken impression that "Taco Bell" was the Mexican phone company, "Gatorade" was a form of welfare, "Sherlock Holmes" was a West Philadelphia housing project, and "judo" was what bagels were made out of. But Wesley instead took issue with a column Bykofsky had written, critcizing him for shorting his name from Morrison-Wesley (the joint name he and his spouse had chosen when they were married.) Wesley asked Bykofsky if his first name, Stu, was short for "Stu-pid." Still, event organizers knew Bykofsky was no dummy. During the evening, the event he helped create raised over $4,000 for the Variety Club, a charity which aids handicapped children. And in the end, Bykovsky also emerged victorious as event promoters declared him the funniest mayoral candidate. "I know this seems like it's rigged," he said.

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