*This article appeared in the 2008 Joke Issue.
Looking for a new place to nap? Or maybe it's a mid-afternoon booty call you want.
Either way, Philly BedShare might be your solution.
Starting next week, BedShare, owned and operated by Philly CarShare, will begin offering its new service - conveniently located private napping quarters equipped with plush queen-size beds scattered throughout Philadelphia.
The best part? Fifteen of the 200 stations will be on Penn's campus, including locations at Houston Hall, the fifth floor stacks in Van Pelt Library and Huntsman Hall.
Although the on-campus locations are designed primarily for the sleep-deprived Penn community, they will be available to anyone who can afford the cheap rate of 50 cents an hour.
Many local residents, including the middle-aged homeless man who always wants to know what time it is, plan on taking advantage of Philly BedShare.
"I'm so friggin excited about having a real bed," said Gregory Smith, who normally goes by Big Double D Dawwg. "Me and my whole posse will prolly wanna take over that Hunstman place, day and night."
Some Penn students say BedShare will offer more than just a place to catch some shuteye.
"Sleep is completely overrated," Engineering sophomore Irvana Clitonis said. "Whenever I'm tired, I find that all it takes is a quickie to really invigorate me."
College sophomore and resident creeper Ben Dover said he could not agree more.
"One of my favorite pastimes is watching girls while they sleep, so I couldn't be more excited," he said. "I recommend that they rent out sexy nighties because I will definitely be creeping around there."
Philly CarShare owner Hunter B. Skiffington III said he came up with the idea of BedShare after he saw exhausted students fast asleep under The Button outside of Van Pelt.
"People just need sleep," he said. "One time I had an committee meeting with Amy Gutmann the day after I had to pull an all-nighter for a new project proposal. I was so sleepy, I fell asleep right in front of her! That's when I realized how much I need more places to sleep than just my home, and I figured the rest of Philly does as well."
