VILLANOVA, Pa.
After his team's clinic on how not to play basketball in Tuesday's loss to Villanova, Saint Joseph's coach Phil Martelli took the stand and entered his plea for the most severe charges.
For the murder of the 116-year-old game of basketball: guilty as charged.
Martelli was in full-blown apology mode in the post-game press conference, expressing his regret to the city of Philadelphia for leaving the nasty stain of 26-percent shooting on the Big 5, and to ESPN for pulling the "worldwide leader in turnovers" routine on its junior network.
But it was the emotional coach's most pedestrian apology that really made me stop and think.
"To our fans who are so passionate about our team."
Apologizing to Hawks fans?
Funny, because I'd been at the building for two hours and didn't see any.
I thought there might have been some specks of red in the stratosphere of the north balcony. But the presence of Hawks fans couldn't be confirmed or denied, since someone misplaced the press-row binoculars.
The Holy War, in the crowd as well as on the floor, was so one-sided that the "war" title doesn't even fit. Blitzkreig, maybe. Assault.
Now that Glen Miller's teams have successfully ruined the low-scoring nature of the Big 5, my image of a City Series game rests on one thing.
If there's a section on one side of the court chanting "'Nova rejects," there should be one on the other side ready to go with "'Nova sucks."
It's also the vision of Martelli, who has been vocal about his desire to play all Big 5 games as neutral-site affairs at the Palestra. Maybe part of that is his 3,200-seat Fieldhouse speaking, maybe not.
For Villanova and Temple with their roomier facilities - and for Villanova especially, with its large and active fan base - a home game is a lucrative proposition.
But to me, a true home game goes against everything that the Big 5 stands for. Especially in the fiercest of the 10 rivalries - the only one deserving of its own name - there should be somebody on the other side to answer the chants.
I'm not going to go as far as Martelli; if you want the game at the Pavilion, that's fine. Besides, if every game were at the Palestra, it would undoubtedly be an unfair advantage for Penn.
But split the house 50-50. Or at least give the visiting school a chance to sell its half. La Salle might not be able to do it, and then, for instance, Villanova fans would be able to snap up the rest of them in 12 minutes or however long it takes.
And what Villanova loses in sales from their home game, they'll make up from the contingent willing to travel to the monstrosity-formerly-known-as-the-Apollo or to Tom Gola High School for an away game.
Tuesday night had the perfect set-up to go straight into the dictionary for the Big 5 entry. Superb defense, not much offense, freezing cold night.
There was just one thing missing.
For the long stretches of game in which 'Nova truly did suck, there was nobody there to tell them that.
Zachary Levine is a senior mathematics major from Delmar, N.Y., and is former Sports Editor of The Daily Pennsylvanian. His e-mail address is zlevine@sas.upenn.edu.
