Most people who know Steve Danley wouldn't be surprised to hear that he has a future in the performing arts. After all, the junior forward on Penn's men's basketball team is a renowned performance poet.
But who could have guessed that Danley would hit it big on the silver screen?
Indeed, industry insiders have confirmed that the Quakers big man will star in the newest sequel to The Mask, the 1994 film starring Jim Carrey.
Danley wore a clear plastic protective mask for Penn's final five games this season after breaking his nose in a Feb. 24 game against Harvard.
"When I broke my nose, I was absolutely demoralized," Danley said. "But now I am the happiest boy in the world. This is simply glorious."
The movie will be named Masketball.
"Get it?" asked director Lawrence Guterman, who also directed the much maligned Son of the Mask, which was released in 2005.
Others considered for the role include Detroit Pistons guard Richard Hamilton, former NBA player Dennis Rodman (circa 1992) and the serial killer Jason.
But this offer is far from the only one Danley received after his successful performance wearing a mask.
He received offers to star in sequels to The Man in the Iron Mask and The Mask of Zorro.
"I was also contacted to star in the sequel to M*A*S*H," Danley said. "But then the producers realized that the letter 'H' at the end of the title only looked like the letter 'K.'
"Once they realized that the word was actually 'mash' and not 'mask' they lost interest. I think they actually contacted recently-retired Sixer Jamal Mashburn."
Mashburn was unavailable for comment.
Movie offers are far from the only benefits Danley has derived from his hideous facepiece.
Danley was also offered an honorary spot in Mask and Wig as well as a chance to be the spokesman for masking tape.
He is currently mulling these offers.
As for now, Danley says he has been hanging out a lot with Batman and the Hamburglar, both of whom wear masks.
"Sometimes Grimace stops by, but that's only because he's pals with the Hamburglar," Danley said. "Grimace may be purple, but he doesn't wear a mask."
"Steve Danley is a very good masketball player, and I have a whole lot of respect for him, but I fargin' hate the Hamburglar," Penn coach Fran Dunphy said.
In talking to Danley, you can't help but wonder: Don't we all wear some sort of mask? Indeed we do.
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