Palestra fails city's routine inspection

After 72 years, the famed Palestra may be forced to close its doors. After 72 years of historic college basketball history, tradition and glory, the Palestra may have closed its doors for the last time. After a thorough four-hour inspection of the Palestra yesterday, City of Philadelphia building inspectors deemed the historic gymnasium unsafe for use until further notice. Inspector Floyd Hoseman and a team of eight experts labeled the 8,700-seat arena "unlawful to enter" and called for massive renovations to repair multiple aspects of the aging facility, or for the replacement of the building altogether. This was the first inspection of the Palestra in 14 years and was mandated by the Mayor's Office of Land-Lease Renewal. In a meeting with several University officials, including Athletic Department Director Steve Bilsky and Associate Director for Facilities Larry Lauchle, Hoseman outlined a lengthy list of safety hazards and legal violations. Included in the list of hazards presented by Hoseman was the "precariously displaced foundation," meaning that the structural concrete foundation laid in 1926 is crumbling and shifting. According to Hoseman, it is a time bomb waiting to go off. "The very base of the enormous building is so weak, that portions of the wall and floor could literally collapse," Hoseman said. "It may be deceptive, but the very core of the building is so weak that the wood floor used for volleyball and basketball could sink under the athletes' feet." To compound matters, toxicology reports indicate that water samples attained from various locations, including water fountains, sinks in the public men's and women's restrooms, the locker room showers and the concession soda fountain taps contained unsafe levels of lead, sulfur and bromide. "Despite what these preliminary reports say, no athlete, coach, fan or guest at the Palestra was ever exposed to any of these dangerous substances," Lauchle said. "We have tested the water and these pipes every year since '84 and never, in all that time, have we found anything." In addition to the sour taste in the water, Bilsky finally admitted the heating system has been on the fritz for several years. This immediately provoked a response from Geoff Owens -- center on the Penn men's basketball team. "I knew it all along," Owens smirked. "I just knew it was too damn hot in there. I mean it was like Africa hot!" Perhaps most frightening for anyone who has enjoyed a game at the Palestra over the last few years is the condition of the roof. Several large cracks, including a fissure over 27 feet long over the southern bleachers, litter the terraced concrete roof. According to the findings, large chunks of concrete and brick could have potentially fallen 200 feet to the floor and stands. Such an accident would be more likely to occur when the Palestra is filled to capacity, for a Penn-Princeton basketball game. "I'm just glad it didn't hit my penis," College senior John La Bombard said. What this all means for the future of Penn Athletics is unclear. For now, no activities will take place inside the Palestra until the building can pass a city inspection. For the short term, Bilsky and Lauchle have announced that all men and women's basketball, women's volleyball and Big Five games will all be relocated for the 1998-99 season. "We're thinking about playing the basketball games inside Gimbel Gymnasium and moving in temporary bleachers," a befuddled Bilsky billowed. "But I want a second opinion on all of these so-called findings before we do anything. What do these guys really know anyway? They're just fancy-shmancy construction workers that have let this power get to their heads." Members of Penn Athletic community were equally disturbed about the present situation of the legendary gym. "Have you ever been in that place?" Penn women's basketball coach Julie Soriero asked referring to the Palestra. "Every time I go in there I fear for my life. It's like playing in a construction site. We should all be wearing our hard hats." Other members of the Athletic community have already begun to mobilize and take a stand. "A lot of the guys on the team don't think of the Palestra as historic, just old," Penn guard Matt Langel said. "But I'm not one of them. The Palestra is a temple, a shrine to the endless influence of basketball in our lives. Jeff Goldstein and I are going to chain ourselves to the building and not let them tear it down, but we need everyone's support." Meanwhile, Penn men's basketball coach Fran Dunphy is aware of and is most dissatisfied with the consequences of finding a new home. "We are going to be hard-pressed to find any top prospects who are going to want to play at a high school gym, which is where we're going to have to play," Dunphy said. "The allure of playing at the Palestra will be gone and we will be forced to resort to illegal activity, like offering these kids cars, money and sex." University President Judith Rodin could not be reached for comment, but in a statement released yesterday by right-hand man Heywood Jablomi, she conveyed her confidence that "this misunderstanding can be worked out either with a large donation to Mayor Ed Rendell's presidential campaign or the establishment of an internship program in City Hall that the mayor is begging on his knees for."