DPOSTM broasted in Kamin Cup '97

and Amy Lipman Clad in specially printed T-shirts and clutching hand-written playbooks, The Daily Pennsylvanian Sports staff walked onto Franklin Field yesterday confident it would beat the rest of the DP in the annual Kamin Cup. Instead, the Sports team, falling by the final score of 38-14, found itself outscored, outdefended, outplayed and even outtalked by a vastly superior DP team in one of the biggest routs in recent Kamin Cup history. "I think they learned who the real weenies are," DP player/coach Yochi "Wochi" Dreazen said. "Frankly, I'm amazed they managed to score at all." The DP team -- made up of players from the paper's news, design, photo and business departments, as well as 34th Street magazine -- dominated the game from the start, as quarterback Zach Lewis (25-35, 399 yards, 5 TDs) hit Dreazen for two first-half touchdowns en route to a 20-8 halftime lead. Sports began the second half with a fluke touchdown on a kickoff return, but the rest of the game proved why sports is the DP's "Only Staff That [Doesn't] Matter." The DP defense shut down sports, coming up with a series of key interceptions every time the overmatched team threatened to score. Defense, in fact, was the story of the game, as the DP picked off an astounding 14 passes, with safety Chris Anderson intercepting sports quarterback Kent "Benedict Arnold" Malmros six times. Malmros, who had played for the DP in last year's heartbreaking 12-8 loss to Sports, bears the unique distinction of leading both sides to consecutive defeats. "This is enough to make me start drinking -- again," he said. The DP also got strong play from safety Brian Weinstein, who picked off three passes, and punter/kicker Dan "The Canuck" Fienberg, who unleashed several 50-plus-yard bombs. The DP offense played equally well, as Lewis scrambled for a touchdown, and later found wide-outs Mike "But Seriously" Jaccarino and Adam "Moe" Falkowitz for three long scores. "What a contrast -- anything Lewis throws long is caught for a touchdown while every Sports pass finds its way into the arms of a DP player," said Kamin Cup veteran Jeff Wieland, who coached last year's Sports team. Providing a fitting close to a victory over the stunningly inept Sports squad, the DP scored twice in the last two minutes of the game and picked off Malmros' last pass as time expired. The victory was especially sweet for the DP team because of its losses to Sports in the last two Kamin Cup games, as well as sports' incessant trash-talking in the weeks leading up to the game. Ironically, the Sports players who had talked the most were the ones most severely outplayed on the field, including one self-proclaimed "high school star" who dropped several easy passes and was burned on defense for several DP touchdowns. And after the last points were scored, one inescapable fact remained -- at long last, the Cup had come home.