COLUMN: A, man's issue, too

From Kristopher Couch's, "Nothing But the Truth," Fall '96 From Kristopher Couch's, "Nothing But the Truth," Fall '96Abortion generates strong,From Kristopher Couch's, "Nothing But the Truth," Fall '96Abortion generates strong,valid feelings on both sidesFrom Kristopher Couch's, "Nothing But the Truth," Fall '96Abortion generates strong,valid feelings on both sidesof the gender gap. From Kristopher Couch's, "Nothing But the Truth," Fall '96Abortion generates strong,valid feelings on both sidesof the gender gap.I was once told I shouldn't have anything to do with abortion politics. Because it's a women's issue and I'm a guy, I won't ever get it. I was crushed. I knew I would never understand abortion from a woman's point of view, but I couldn't deny my feelings on the subject. I wish I could talk to that girl again. I know now what I would say. "That's different. Animal rights activists exist for those who cannot defend themselves." Like a cartoon thermometer, I could imagine the red level rising in her face. I've been through this dialogue so many times. "Why are you pro-choice?" I usually ask. "First of all, I don't think I would ever have an abortion myself," she says. "But I do believe in defending the a woman's right to choose." "Okay." That's the usual response, I think. "You know, I think it's ridiculous that the same conservatives who want to cut the government demand the government to interfere with a woman's rights," she continues. Right about now is when the shyness ends. "I can answer that?" I begin. "I mean it's her body," she says. "Keep the government out of my uterus? Isn't that the slogan?" "Yeah, something like that," she admits. "Just like the government doesn't interfere with a woman's right to sell her body for sex," I counter. "Yeah, yeah. I've heard that one before." She rolls her eyes. "Well, stop me if you've heard this one," I say. "A kid has abusive parents. Should the government interfere with that situation?" "That's totally different!" she exclaims. "A kid can't defend himself from --" At least she had the insight to stop herself this time. "Shoot," she says. "You keep doing that." "I know. Deceptive, isn't it?" "I suppose you're one of those 'Life begins at conception' people," she sneers. "Maybe," I answer. "Do you think life begins when the baby comes out of the womb?" "I guess so. I never thought about it." She shrugs her shoulders. "I mean, it makes sense doesn't it? Up until that point, the baby --" "Fetus," she interrupts. "Sorry. The fetus is totally dependent on the mother." "You are sounding more and more pro-choice." She shoots me a sidelong glance. "You're right," I nod. "I'm also sounding more and more like a devil's advocate. After one year out of the womb, does a baby depend on the mother?" "I don't --" "You're thinking ahead, aren't you? If a mother put her one-year-old baby out on the street and left it there, did she do anything wrong?" "Of course. That's child abuse!" She is indignant now. "Why?" I ask. "Because?" She is suddenly quiet. I can see her putting my argument together. "OK," she says. "So maybe life doesn't necessarily begin at birth, but that's the point. We don't know when life begins! Admit it." "Perhaps. Do you think a woman should be able to have an abortion in her ninth month? Just before the? fetus? is about to be born." "No, I don't think that's right." She is adamant about this. "What about in the eight month?" "No." "Seventh?" This time her response was slower. "No." "Sixth?" "Yes,"she says, after a moment of thought. "That's OK." "So life begins somewhere in between the sixth and seventh month," I conclude. "No, you see? That's what I am saying. We don't know -- and we will never know -- when a fetus is alive," she says. "I mean, when a fetus is a life. We just don't know." "So is it fair to say that some abortions kill an innocent life, while others do not?" I ask. "No, that's ridiculous." "Is it because you know that killing an innocent life is murder?" I press on. "You're being irrational," she says, rolling her eyes again. "You don't think murder is taking an innocent life?" I ask in disbelief. "No, not that. Murder is what you say it is. But you can't pinpoint when life begins, so?" She trails off. "Let me tell you a little story. There was this hunter who was really into guns. Had them on his walls, in his car? everywhere." She started to shake her head. I took that as a good response. "Now this hunter had never shot a deer in his whole life," I continued. "He was a lousy hunter. So he finally resolved to go hunting, and shoot at whatever moved." She had an incredulous look on her face. "So he was crawling along the ground, when he saw the bushes moving about 10 yards in front of him. He aimed his gun at exactly where the bushes were moving. He pulled back on the trigger and fired, without checking to see if it was just the wind, another hunter or some little kid that wandered into the forest." "What an idiot." She makes a face. "Pretty stupid, huh?" "Did we change subjects or something?" she asks. "Why did you call him an idiot?" I reply. "Because he shot at something without even checking to see what it was? You said yourself, he could have killed a little kid!" She looked like she knew she was being tested. And after a moment, it hit her. The expression on her face changed -- the scrunched up area of her eyebrows relaxed, her lips tightened as her eyes dropped to the ground. She wasn't angry. She looked sad.