COLUMN: Penn campus prefers Sports

From Lee Goldsmith's "Standing Room Only," Fall '95 Whatever it is you're doing, this much is clear: Right now, as you read my last column of the semester, you're looking at the most important page of The Daily Pennsylvanian. The sports page. Don't get me wrong. By no means am I claiming that the sports page is the most important one in any given newspaper. To make such a claim would be narrow-minded and, quite honestly, stupid. Neither of these are qualities to which I aspire. But consider this: What you are currently reading is not any given newspaper. It's a student newspaper, centered around and tailored to a campus and its student body. In order to accurately evaluate the issue of primacy, then, one must examine the various components of a student paper. Universally hailed as one of America's finest, the DP presents an intriguing case study. First, we can immediately throw out the wire pages, both news and sports. These pages come in handy if that political science lecture is just too damned boring, or if you're flying solo for lunch at 1920 Commons. But when students want news and sports from the real world, let's face it -- they look at The New York Times and USA Today. Second, of course, comes the editorial page. Ah, the infamous Page 6. Most would agree that the DP's editorial page does a fine job, but it can't by any stretch be considered the paper's keystone. There are just too many people who don't read columns for too many reasons. Everyone has a columnist they like. But too many columnists keep harping on one issue -- students become sick of the out-of-the-closet-and-in-your-face homosexuals and the more-to-the-right-than-Hitler conservatives rather quickly. Same views, alternate weeks. With sports, it's always a different game -- and always a different story. That's the lure of the sports page. Besides, at least four Page 6 columns this semester alone have been on sports -- what does that tell you? Moving right along, we are of course left with the biggest piece of the DP puzzle. The hard-hitting, ground-breaking, front-page news piece of the puzzle. Let me start with a disclaimer: the DP news staff does an outstanding job. The fault lies not with them, but with the issues on which they pitifully waste so much time. The truth of the matter is that nine out of 10 campus news stories are of no interest -- to anyone. Witness this week's big news. Despite the tragic suicide of a Penn senior, the DP's front page has given more attention to the latest "flame war" on the Internet. Flame war? Are you serious? Here's a thought: Why is this news? The majority of our campus couldn't care less if two dweebs want to spend hours arguing about the Eisenhower on a popular newsgroup. Even less-publicized sports like lacrosse and softball will get more readers. And rightfully so, if you ask any sane person. Before Penn faced Alabama, several strangers approached me on Locust Walk to ask what I thought of the game. How many strangers do you think approach staff writers to ask who they like in the upcoming email flame war? Nothing -- not flame wars, not inept UA chairmen, not even freak-show nudists -- draws student interest like a decent sports story. And with that, I shall exit stage left for the semester from the glorious stage of DPOSTM -- The Daily Pennsylvanian's Only Staff That Matters. Lee Goldsmith is a College junior from Huntingdon Valley and a sports writer for The Daily Pennsylvanian. Dick Vitale's "guy" will be back in the front row of the Palestra for Penn hoops next year.