COLUMN: You will Conform and You Will Like It

From Adam Scioli's "The Old Boys Club," Winter '94 No matter how many times it's happened to me before – no matter how many lessons "learned" – I just can't seem to keep my mouth shut or camouflage my viewpoints to appease the egomaniacal, self-important professors who take delight in punishing those who do not conform to their patterns of thought. It happened to me again last semester. Before I knew it I was fighting an uphill battle, paddling upstream against a liberal current at the end of which a Big Fat "C" was waiting for me. A "C"? In my major? In a b.s. class with obnoxious hints of that annoying hippie dippy intellectualism that we're so often spoonfed here at the good old U of P? How had I misgauged this one? How could my roommate have made the mistake? Who could go wrong with a class whose syllabus requires watching scholarly epics such as Star Trek or Bladerunner? If only I had bothered to browse through the texts, or even read their titles before purchasing them, I would have saved myself from the bi-weekly diatribes and incessant indoctrination I was forced to challenge over the course of the semester. One of the required texts, Talking Back, sounded enticing. Its title even hints at open, challenging discussion. Of course, I didn't see the subtitle "Thinking Black, Thinking Feminist" written smaller on the book's cover. This text was certainly not one I would have bargained for. I should have known not to get involved with a course whose syllabus deals with "domination and subjugation." It should have been blatantly obvious to me in which direction this course was heading. By now it should have been clear that inevitably, I, the evil white male, would be seen as the dominator, leaving a trail of subjugated blacks, females and even black females in my dust. Never, ever, trust a professor who overemphasizes the importance of expressing your views in class and pretends to care about, or be interested in, hearing what you, as an undergraduate, have to say. In fact, why trust any teacher who even mentions the concept of class participation? Class participation is simply a Mickey Mouse grade school way of arbitrarily and most subjectively evaluating a student and judging him on his or her viewpoints. It is something a fifth grade teacher needs to threaten his students with, in order to bring them out of their pre-pubescent shells. In this particular course, class participation turned out to be quite a challenge. I was caught between expressing my deep convictions and compromising my every principle. The student was expected to pick his or her brain for the answer that the professor wanted to hear, rather than engage in any sort of intellectual debate. At one point, I found myself explaining why the University is a white male dominated institution. This was advertised as an intellectual exercise, but quite contraire, and certainly not to my surprise, we were only allowed to argue one side of the issue – her side. Our answers were only accepted if they complied with the professor's thesis and we were admonished for suggesting otherwise. I played the professor's little guilty whiteman's game, but it was much too late; she already had me pegged as an insensitive conservative. There was nothing more I could do. How could a woman professor with tenure stand in front of a classroom of students of the highest caliber and expect to be taken seriously when she speaks of the University in such ridiculous, unfounded hierarchical terms? My next pitfall sprung up when our guilty white female suggested a comparison between Benjamin Franklin and W.E.B. DuBois. The professor was outraged that while there were statues of Franklin prominently displayed throughout campus, there were no iron clad memorials to the great DuBois. Quite frankly I'm still beyond confused about this comparison. To begin with, it seems only fair that we have a statue or two dedicated to the founder of our university. Forget about the fact that Ben Franklin was a founding father of our great nation and had a large hand in the writing of The Declaration of Independence. The man founded our University. Period. Nuff said. Besides, wasn't Franklin was the guy with the kite and key who discovered electricity in a thunderstorm? A true American folk hero that every boy and girl learns of. Now. Mr. Dubois. True, he is without a doubt one of the foremost black political thinkers to date. But let's examine what exactly he thought. DuBois was a separatist who believed in militant black nationalism and self-help rather than reliance on the white community. Ultimately, DuBois was indeed a socialist thinker who did not do much to bring blacks and whites together in the United States. Clearly the last idol the University needs is a statue that reminds us of our differences rather than our intellectual likeness and human virtues. Certainly everyone is entitled to her own hero. I would just ask the professors not to force their own upon me or distort history when representing it to impressionable, knowledge-thirsty students. So before drop-add ends, take a good look at your syllabi and decide whether or not you understand exactly what it is your getting into. Decide whether or not you can stomach swallowing your opinions and values, leaving your patriotism and pride outside the classroom door, and exposing yourself to ruthless indoctrination. If not, get out of the course as soon as possible, or don't be surprised when the man at the end of the PARIS line says, "C." Adam Scioli is a senior Political Science major from Rockville, Maryland. The Old Boys' Club appears alternate Wednesdays.