DP Swamis

No, not time to say how much Brown sucks. But they really do. It's parent time. The 'rents are coming. And in honor of this occasion, we decided to explore how and why the foundations were laid for the current Swamis (we did not become all-powerful overnight, you know). Also, we wanted to see if the Mommy and Daddy Swamis had any Ancient Eight knowledge left in their dusty old turbans. So onward we go. Swami Mommy and Daddy Longhorn: Longhorn's 'rents had a small story to share about how little Longhorn has changed. "You know how Danny is, he has a one-track mind. He keeps bugging you until he gets his way," Daddy Longhorn said. Well it seems that Longhorn's first driving experience took place on, you guessed it, a golf course. Seems as if the eight year-old Longhorn was enamored by the golf cart and begged Dad to let him drive. So with two-year old sister Elizabeth and Daddy holding on for their dear lives, Longhorn floored it, drove up onto a big hill and almost completely flipped over the cart. Mommy Longhorn still recoils in horror at the memory. Swami Mommy Absolut: It's no surprise that Absolut is in control of the race for Swami stardom. You see, she has been dominating and in control her whole life. "She's very into law and order and justice," Mommy Absolut said. "She's very assertive and bossy." What Absolut was most bossy about when she was little was whether or not she would go to school. Seems as if in the 1st grade, Absolut refused to get out of bed each and every day until threatened with the enemy of all Swamis – the truant officer. "She was immovable,' Mommy Absolut said. "But the threat of arrest got her up." Absolut feared law and order just as she now seeks it. Swami Mommy Felon: Mommy Felon insists that while Felon "sounds pretty drab and uninteresting" he's actually had a sense of humor "ever since he learned how to talk." As if he had a sense of humor before he learned how to talk. But Mommy Felon may just be a little put off by a little incident when Felon was in the seventh grade and got a message to call home because of an emergency. Felon's response to his mother's call of need? Aw, she just can't use the computer. Swami Brother Sleeper: When we talked to Sleeper's brother, we asked him why he thought Sleeper had such a zest for Ivy League football. Brother Sleeper didn't know, but he alerted us of Sleeper's other zest – balloons. Seems as if for his 17th birthday, Sleeper's 'rents lined the bannister with balloons. Well, Sleeper was a little rowdy in those days, so every day when he walked down the stairs he hit one the balloons with his right hand. Until one day, he took a swing and not only the balloon went down, but so did his right hand. That's right, Swami fans. Sleeper broke his hand swinging at a balloon. Sleeper won't talk of the incident, but his brother seems to have an opinion on the ramifications of the event. "He's had sort of a traumatic whiplash syndrome [because of the balloons]," Brother Sleeper said. "To date I haven't seen him around any balloons."