JOKE ISSUE: 'DP' rocks for 109th year in row

The Daily Pennsylvanian would like to say, "We told you so." The DP was named Best Publication on Campus for the 109th year in a row, Vice Provost for University Life Kim Morrisson said yesterday. "They should be proud, even though there wasn't much competition," Morrisson said yesterday. "They most definitely deserve it." DP Executive Editor Stephen Glass said that he was very pleased with the award, and that he would continue to make the newspaper prosper. "I am very pleased with the award," he said. "And I will continue to make the newspaper prosper." "I just hope that those who didn't win aren't mad at me," he added. According to Morrisson, all of the campus publications were voted on by the Best Publication on Campus Awards Committee. The committee consisted of several influential members of the Penn community, including Morrisson, Glass, President Sheldon Hackney, Residential Living Director Gigi Simeone, Undergraduate Assembly President Jeff Lichtman, McGinn Security President Joseph McGinn, Executive Vice President Janet Hale, and Office of Fraternity and Sorority Affairs Director Tricia Phaup. Hackney said that the other publications on campus, such as Red and Blue, Punchbowl, Highball and Almanac have never even "held a candle to the intensive and unrelenting investigative reporting of the DP." "The other publications on campus, such as Red and Blue, Punchbowl, Highball and Almanac have never even held a candle to the intensive and unrelenting investigative reporting of the DP," he said. Simeone, who asked to remain anonymous, said that she would never have any work to do if the DP never expertly pointed out the numerous flaws of her department. "I would never have any work to do if the DP never expertly pointed out the numerous flaws of my department," she said. "Oh, and please don't use my name in the paper." Lichtman said he was disappointed that the UA's very own publication, UA News and Views, was not even considered for the award. "It's just because the DP actually pays for its phone calls with its own money," he said. "The UA will never be able to live up to the DP's excellent reputation." According to Morrisson, the second prize award went to 34th Street Magazine.