*Greg Louis ranked nation's best player

*This post appeared as part of the 2011 Joke Issue.

Incredible news for Penn basketball fans. Quakers commit Greg Louis has emerged as the HS Class of 2011's best player nationwide. Apparently, after a few impressive pickup games, including one stretch during which he made five straight hook shots, scouts jumped on the Louis bandwagon and he has now leapfrogged over all his competition. Louis even got the nod over heralded guard Austin Rivers (son of Celtics' coach Doc), to become the nation's No.1 player graduating this year. This is obviously a tremendous "get" for the Penn program and definitely lessens the blow of losing a guy like Jack Eggleston. Louis has shown great improvement over the year, rising the ranks from a dubious candidate for Florida's player of the year now to the nation's best. Should be an impact player right away.

This info has also been verified as per the standard Seifter Smell Test.