*Rudy Wise to leave for Fairfield

*This post appeared as part of the 2011 Joke Issue.

Assistant to the assistant to the assistant coach Rudy Wise plans to leave his job at Penn and join former Princeton basketball coach Sydney Johnson as a top assistant at Fairfield, according to sources on the JV team.

Wise has been the JV coach and volunteer assistant at Penn for just one year. Unlike Sydney Johnson's move, this appears to be an upward one for Wise. But much like Johnson's move, it appears to be 100% fiscally motivated.

"They were paying me peanuts here," said Wise. "At Fairfield it's cashews. and money."

A wise move indeed.

No word as to who will replace him on the Penn staff, though rumors of a tag-team JV coaching duo of Vince Curran and Brian Seltzer have begun to take hold.