Source: Brown makes offer, Miller likely to accept

• TWEET
• SHARE
• SHARE

-- This post appeared in conjunction with the joke issue on April 10, 2008 -- 

Just days after Brown basketball coach Craig Robinson left for Pac 10 bottom-dweller Oregon State, according to a source within the Penn basketball program, the Bears have an offer on the table to Penn coach Glen Miller, and there's a good chance he's going back to Providence.

Robinson, who posted an 11-3 Ivy League record and earned a berth into the College Basketball Invitational, left after only two years at Brown.

Miller struggled to a 8-6 league mark, breaking the streak of three-straight conference titles for Penn.

The Bears want to get their head coach locked up for next season, and don't want to let a disgruntled Miller stay at Penn a minute longer than he has to.

Miller declined to comment when called on his cell phone, but the source (who would only go by the first name of "Vasu") said the coach was stressed out, and fed up with "a number of things, the lack of [expletive] athletes, the egos on the team, losing to cow colleges like Columbia, Joe Gill, the crappy facilities and a junior varsity program that was able to beat the varsity team in a scrimmage, and let Miller know about it for weeks after."

Apparently coming to Penn thinking he would receive the calls that Penn and Princeton typically get, Miller still got jammed up his ass by several officials on occasion this season.

Miller also has been disappointed with the city of Philadelphia, calling it, in a December 2006 interview, "filthy, dangerous and with an inadequate subway system that is inefficient, expensive and that's lack of funding is the only thing worse than the manner in which it is run." Miller also agreed with women's coach Pat Knapp's assessment that "The D.C. Metro is like a Formula 1 racing car, and SEPTA is like a bicycle."

If Miller does decide to leave, Penn will have a long, tough search process ahead of it. It has been reported that the list of possible successors to Miller should include: Perry Bromwell, Chris "Bubba" Sparxxx, LaShawn "Obie" Trice, Friedrich Ebede, Stephen "I'm better at sports and smarter than you" Danley, Isiah Thomas, The 'stache, The Hawk (which will never die), Tim Legler's hot Eagles cheerleader wife and Mike Jarvis.