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Satire  Published 10/03/17 12:52am

Babe Alert! This Freshman Likes Any Kind of Music Except Country

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Photo by principe-sad / CC0


Lounging on his unkempt twin XL bed in Riepe College House, Bryan Mehrmann (E '21) paused for a moment when asked what kind of music he listens to. A casual observer might guess, based on the posters hung above his bed and desk, that Mehrmann is a fan of Pink Floyd, Chance the Rapper, and the Beatles. But according to the freshman himself, his taste encompasses much more than any straight answer can convey. 

"Hmm, that's such a hard question," he begins, shifting to a more upright position, softening his face into a serious, pensive gaze. "I really like all kinds of music — rock, hip-hop, trap, psych-rock, punk, shoegaze, maybe some pop."

"Everything," he added, "except country."

According to Mehrmann, this is the answer he gives every potential suitor who asks him about his music preferences. And it's earned him some serious cred. Just last week, he invited a girl from the adjacent hall into his room after a night of party-hopping together. They sat side-by-side on his dusty area rug, and after a few minutes of awkward conversation, he suggested they turn on some tunes. As his finger hovered over the "United States Top 50" Spotify playlist, his female companion blindsided him with the age-old question of music taste. 

He answered without missing a beat. 

"Man, she was totally into it," he claimed, his mouth widening into a grin. "It was crazy because she felt exactly the same way. We both love music, unless it's country music. The rest was history. And by that, I mean we banged."

For any music lovers out there swooning over this buff, don't lose hope. Mehrmann says he's "keeping it casual" with the girl down the hall, which is good news for you: this certified babe with an ear for the good stuff is still on the market.

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