A few words on the Steeplechase

It begins, like many great sports moments, with a slow clap.

The runners approach Franklin Field's northeastern turn — and the remaining thousand or so in the stands have all packed into that corner — as the claps quicken.

Clap................Clap........Clap......Clap....Clap..Clap

Hurdle, plant, plunge.

This is the steeplechase, the highlight of Distance Night at the Penn Relays. It's one part track event and two parts America's Funniest home Videos fodder. The 3000m race features four hurdles and a fifth water jump — you guessed it, in the northeast corner — where things get interesting. While the harriers go for clean leaps over the other four barriers, they try to use the water hurdle as a jumping off point to clear the deeper parts of the water hazard. Nobody stays dry. The fans, tired from a long day of race after race, start to heckle.

As the laps go on, the wooden hurdle gets wetter and wetter and slippery, adding to the chaos as runners tumble into and out of the pond. It's not uncommon for a runner or two to lose a shoe. The real champions — maybe not the winners, but champions nonetheless — finish the race with one foot unshod.

Once the final runner has made his pass of the water jump, Franklin Field's finest, the maintenance guys, come out with squeegees to send the splashed water back into the pit. One of these hard working fellows dons a blonde mullet wig and aviators for the event every year. The fans eat it up, chanting "SQUEEGEE! SQUEEGEE! SQUEEGEE!" each time they spring into action.

"I can't hear you!" the platinum-wigged maintenance man shouts. "Get into it, you guys are weak." It's all a little WWE.

The first and only rule of steeplechase, as I quickly learned sitting trackside, is to keep your mouth shut. The pond-water is by scummy to say the least.