Summer jobs in Princeton and Boston

When Joe Scott got fired, I breathed a huge sigh of relief.

I'll admit it; I was worried about not having summer employment.

At least now I have something to fall back on, right? No way they could turn me away from the Princeton job, which now has the reputation of turning Tournament-caliber coaches into hoarse chain-smokers.

Then, I visited Princeton's post on the NCAA's job site: apparently you actually have to have "a successful background in coaching basketball." And what's more, you have to certify yourself in CPR.

Damn. Looks like I'm out.

But that's nothing compared to the requirements at Harvard**, which seems awful picky for a school that's never been to the Dance. Here's a dealbreaker if I ever saw one:

"Ability to work in accordance with Harvard, Ivy League and NCAA rules/guidelines. Nights, weekends and travel required."

Ouch. Nights AND weekends? No wonder they got stuck with the same guy for 16 years.

So now that the Crimson and Tigers are out, I'm down to my last hope: the Big Ten. Specifically, the University of Michigan. And I'm optimistic, because the comprehensive "minimum qualifications" are as follows:

1. Bachelor's degree required.

Well, I almost have it...that counts, right?

**(I printed it out, but in the past few days, Harvard's taken down its ad. You'll have to take my word on this one. Or as Norries Wilson put it: "If you want me to send you the clip, I'll send you the clip.")