About

Satire  Published 11/20/17 1:10pm

Student Deliberately Ignores Decomposing Jack-O'-Lantern on Windowsill for 18th Consecutive Day

rotten

Photo by Steven Depolo / CC BY 2.0


For Halloween this year, Alexa Bowers (C '21) pulled out all the stops on dorm decorations. Now, three full weeks into November, she has yet to deal with the aftermath.

For the 18th day in a row, Bowers has chosen to disregard the jack-o'-lantern quietly rotting on her windowsill.

"Every day, I walk past my windowsill and think to myself, 'Tomorrow. Tomorrow will be the day I take care of this,'" said Bowers, with a tinge of guilt. "At this point," she continued, "I can look at it directly in its sagging, mold-encrusted eye holes without the thought of throwing it out even crossing my mind."

Although Bowers has learned to tolerate the pumpkin actively decomposing in her living space, her roommate has become increasingly unhappy with the situation. "For the first week after Halloween, I was like, 'Okay, she just forgot, whatever,'" said Kayla O'Hare (N '21), who shares the windowsill on which the Jack-o'-lantern in question has been putrefying for more than a dozen days. "Now, I see her packing up for Thanksgiving break, and I'm just waiting for her to do something. She can't leave this here another week, it's starting to emit fumes."

When asked whether she has spoken to Bowers directly about the issue, O'Hare admitted she does "not like confrontation," but has made more passive-aggressive attempts to bring the problem to light. "Obviously I'm not gonna touch it, so I turned the whiteboard above my desk into a 'Days Since Halloween Ended' sign," O'Hare said, "and today I wrote '18' in big, bold letterhead." 

Apparently, the efforts have been lost on Bowers.

"As long as Kayla doesn't care, I'm not gonna worry too much about it," she said nonchalantly. "I'm not keeping it because I still want it. I just haven't gotten around to throwing it out. It's not a priority for me right now."

"But I'm definitely gonna do something about it before break," she offered assuredly, glancing back once more at the once-decorative fruit, now moldering in a puddle of its own fetid juices. "I'll probably throw it out tomorrow."

All comments eligible for publication in Daily Pennsylvanian, Inc. publications.