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Satire  Published 12/06/17 2:17am

Shocking: Student From Major U.S. City Actually From Suburb 35 Minutes Outside City Limits

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Photo by Myriam Thyes / CC BY-SA 3.0


College freshman Sarah Westman got the shock of her life last Wednesday when she found out her roommate, Rachel Becker (C '21), was not who she said she was. “We met through the Penn 2021 Facebook page after Early Decision acceptances had been released,” said Westman. “We bonded about both being Pre-Med and about both being from a major U.S. city. Now neither one is true.”

Westman explained that Becker had claimed to be from Los Angeles, but that it hadn't been the truth. “Last week I saw the return address on a package her mom had sent her for her birthday, and you know what it said? Orange County. That’s 45 minutes outside of LA, without traffic,” added Westman. “I don’t tolerate liars and I definitely don’t tolerate suburbia.”

We reached out to Becker for a comment on Westman’s claims. “I started telling people I was from LA for simplicity’s sake. It’s not my fault no one knows where Orange County is. It’s like when people say they are minoring in Marketing but they’re actually minoring in Consumer Psychology—it's close enough, and no one really wants you to explain the difference.”

Becker insists that she isn’t alone in bending the truth. “Think about how many Penn students are from 'the City.' Do you really believe that?” asked Becker. “I used to get nervous every time I told someone where I’m ‘from.' But then I realized that even if they say they’re from LA, they’re probably from Orange County too.”

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