Satire  Published 12/11/17 11:22pm

Self Love Win: Just Because This Frat Boy Is Mean and Boring Doesn't Mean He Can't Also Be Really Vain


Photo by nym (cropped) / CC BY 2.0

Amazing. This frat boy, despite being mean-spirited and genuinely uninteresting, continues to love himself. Really love himself. That’s right: even though he’s a fundamentally bland chauvinist, he doesn’t let it affect what he sees when he looks in the mirror— an egotistical dick.

Gary S, a senior from Westchester County, New York, doesn’t let society dictate his self-esteem with words like “kind of racist” and “only talks about Greek Rank.” He takes his self-image into his own hands, and proceeds to grossly exaggerate his few positive qualities in his mind. #SelfLove.

Despite his most defining qualities being “wanting a job in finance” and “sports,” Gary is still able to convince himself that his opinions and interests are unique and interesting to others. Even while recently discovering his new beer gut, he still manages to think he is irresistible to women, no matter what they say or how they act. You go Gary!

“I love myself— what other people think of me just doesn’t really matter,” says the #SlayKing, “especially skanks.”

Gary is proof that beauty truly is in the eye of the beholder. We salute you, Gary, and your poor evaluation of how much other people care about your fantasy football team.

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