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Satire  Published 10/11/17 5:41pm

Sweet Deal: You Can Now Bursar Cartier Love Bracelets at the Penn Bookstore!

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Photo by the Daily Pennsylvanian

/ The Daily Pennsylvanian


Great news for Penn students who felt that tuition just wasn't enough! 

The Penn Bookstore on 36th and Walnut Streets announced that they will now be stocking Cartier Love Bracelets. Students will be able to purchase the $6,300 bracelets through bursar, and bursar only. The swipe of the PennCard while purchasing a valuable item is meant to mimic the comforting swoosh of Daddy's Visa, making students feel more at home.

The demand for the ubiquitous gold bracelets is unusually high, defying the traditional principles of supply and demand. The item was introduced to the bookstore at the behest of President Amy Gutmann, who noted that during her two visits to the University in the past decade, she had spotted the bracelets on the arms of many students— but not all of them.

"I thought they were very cute," said Gutmann, who was paid a salary of $3,537,020 last year. 'I don't get why everyone doesn't just get them. It's a gold bracelet. What could it cost? Seven dollars?"

Gutmann's statement, as well as the bookstore's choice to stock such bracelets, was met with outcry over the prevalence of "wealth culture" on campus. In response, the university has responded by stocking the bookstore with a more budget-friendly option: a $1,500 laptop sticker simply reading, "I HAVE MONEY."

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