Satire  Published 09/30/17 4:06pm

Student Submits Photo of Laptop Stickers as Resumé


Photo by Sam Sedor / The Daily Pennsylvanian

The beginning of fall has always been a heavy application season. Coming into school, everyone is looking to lock down his or her clubs and positions for the semester, or for the next summer. For this reason, it is also the time that students look to spice up their resumés and edge out the competition.

Freshman Ellie Rampulla, an economics major in the college, had her heart set on being in the most prestigious Wharton clubs. She knew her resume had to be extra special to beat out all the Wharton kids who had already started schmoozing the club leaders during their senior year visits to Penn.

“I’ve always been good at arts and crafts, so I wanted to do something more visual, something that would really stand out among all the boring word docs, ” Ellie told UTB. “I was really struggling, but then, after I slammed my laptop closed out of anger, it hit me. My stickers. All my most important attributes and accomplishments are showcased right on the back of my computer.”

She had a point. In this age of technology, our electronics are the nearest and dearest objects to our hearts. And, like most students, Rampulla's collection of stickers represents her clubs, activities, and love of French Bulldogs in stunning detail.

Rampulla’s laptop is a very strong application, featuring stickers of the finance group she worked at one summer, a graphics design club she was in, Jim and Pam with a heart around them, her high school logo, the Capricorn sign, block letters that say ‘baby got track’ in which the ‘o’ in got is a drawing of a track, a National Latin Society crest, a young democrats donkey nicely placed next to a ‘Vote Knope’ sticker, and a tie dye Vineyard Vines whale.

Not surprising, then, that all the cool Wharton clubs attempted to recruit Rampulla. While her application might not have been the most extensive, everyone knows you can always trust a Capricorn to get the job done.

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