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Satire  Published 04/08/17 5:01pm

The Ultimate Guide to Subletting Your Place

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Lea Eisenstein / The Daily Pennsylvanian


It's that time of year again. You've just locked down your summer plans and are looking forward to getting far, far off campus. The problem? All the money you're about to make at your summer job (that is, if you even get a paid position) will have to go straight back into rent at your unoccupied pad in West Philly. So you hit up the Free & For Sale Facebook page to throw up an ad. But it looks like everyone else did, too. How will you ever find a subletter when the competition's so stiff?

You don't have to concentrate in marketing to know that when supply exceeds demand, the only way to make a sale is to rise above your competitors with a few innovative strategies. But no need to consult your old, dusty copy of The Art of the Deal. Under the Button has got you covered with some foolproof tips on how to attract a subletter.

Do: Turn your weaknesses into strengths

Basement unit with no windows? You'll have tons of privacy. Insanely far from campus? It's a nice, quiet getaway. Broken appliances? How energy-efficient! If you're crafty enough, every flaw can become a selling point.

Don't: Mention the mice

Hopefully, you'll be subletting to a freshman who won't know what questions to ask. But if you find yourself in a situation where the potential subletter asks about a pest infestation, play your cards close. Hit them with the foolproof line: "Hm, no problems that I know of!"

Do: Open up the space

If you know anything about home resale value, you'll know just how essential an open-concept layout has become. Attempting to sublet a restored West Philly Victorian is a lost cause unless you knock down those claustrophobic walls and install a mudroom and a breakfast nook. These are the design features subletters will notice, and it could make the difference between a sale and a FAIL.

Don't: Price too low

In fact, you need to do the opposite. If you play your cards right, you might even make a profit. Not to mention, "landlord" will make a sexy addition to your resume.

Do: Throw in a bonus 

If you've learned anything in your time here on Earth, it's this: free food can make anything possible. Apply this logic to your subletting strategy by advertising all the food you'll leave in your fridge for your subletter to deal with when they move in. How can you resist an offer like that?

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