The weather has been super weird these past few weeks. If you don't know how to handle the sudden fluctuations in temperature and wind but also don't want to be that guy wearing cargo shorts in the middle of winter, UTB is here to help. Let us tell you what to wear these next few weeks-- trust us, we've done this before.
What other footwear can say "Not only am I prepared for both winter and summer weather, but I also like to have a good time?" Yeah, that's what we thought.
Canada Goose Hat
It's pretty much December, and it's still not cold enough to wear your Canada Goose outside without being slightly uncomfortable. But you've been waiting all year to show your friends and enemies that you can afford to buy one - what gives? Consider investing in a lighter-weight, $250 Canada Goose hat instead; the logo is in an equally obvious location, we promise.
A Sweater Crop Top Under A Vest
These are both confusing items of clothing on their own. Crop tops are for summer but sweaters are definitely for winter. Vests are basically jackets with the sleeves cut off. They both kinda keep you warm but also maybe don't, which is exactly what you need this season.
Tie Three Penn Sweatshirts Around Your Waist
Look, the weather app on your phone will only get you so far - you don't know what's gonna happen once you get to the high rise wind tunnel. We suggest having three Penn sweatshirts tied around your waist at all times: both layers and school spirit are important.
Constantly Eat All Day So Your Internal Body Temperature Stays Warm
This option gives you the freedom to wear whatever you want - because you'll simply avoid any cold by eating nonstop. It's science - when you digest large quantities of food, you simultaneously release small amounts of internal body heat. Although we haven't tried this for ourselves, we took high school bio, so we definitely know what we're talking about.