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Alternative Fling Gear: How to Prepare for Every Weather Scenario

Spring fling is tomorrow (officially, at least), and although SPEC has kindly informed us that the weather is predicted to be pretty dang good, we know to expect the unexpected. Heck, it snowed last week and has been raining on and off ever since, so who knows what will happen in the next 24 hours. That's why we've put together a comprehensive guide on what you can wear no matter what comes up.


If It Rains:

Poncho w/out Sleeves

The rain poncho. It's a classic way to stay dry without sacrificing for bulk or expense. You might feel kind of like you're wearing a plastic bag, but this version has no sleeves, so you can still show off some skin and stay sexy. Plus, it comes in a 4-Pack, so the whole squad can roll thru.

Umbrella Hat

A favorite: the umbrella hat protects the head from wetness without the effort of constantly holding up an umbrella! Power move? Wear sunglasses underneath for extra protection!

Coating Yourself in Vaseline

So maybe this sounds a little out of the box, but hear us out. Vaseline is water repellent, so slather yourself in this ish, and the water will roll right off of you. Yes, you might feel a little slippery at first, but with everyone bumpin' and grindin', no one will even notice.

If It's Windy AF:


Ski Mask

If you've been by the high rises, you understand how windy it can get on campus. That's why we recommend complete coverage to prevent facial chapping! Just make sure to announce "I am definitely NOT a serial killer" every few minutes so as to not arouse suspicion.

Combat Boots

What's the best way to make sure a gust of wind doesn't pick you up and carry you away? This one's a no brainer-- really heavy shoes. We recommend combat boots for style points. Plus, you'll be able get away with sulking since you won't be able to move during the entire concert. Safety first!

If It Snows:

Canada Goose

Nothing to be said here.

Spandex Bodysuit

The bodysuit provides one-of-a-kind, head-to-toe insulation from harsh snowstorms. They also detail your junk in gross detail and come in a plethora of colors! Who knows, you could be the next guy to get tripped while running onto the field at a Phillies game!

Sexy Eskimo Costume

For those of you who want to acknowledge that yes, it snows in April, but wanna look hot while doing it, the sexy Eskimo costume is for you. It might feel more like Halloween than Fling, but that just means you could probably get it at 95% off! It may ring of cultural appropriation, but those fur booties are just so cute.

If There's A Freak Hailstorm:


The Quaker Head

If hail seriously starts pouring down from the heavens while Chance is in the middle of rapping, you're gonna want some kind of cranial protection. Yes, hail has been known to break through glass windshields and roofs of houses, but dude has a freakishly large noggin. Plus, everyone loves the Quaker, so feel free to fully commit and just be the mascot for the day!

Econ 001 Textbook

Don't know what to do with your 11th edition Parkin Microeconomics textbook that you bought for 250 bucks without realizing that you would never use it and is now basically worthless because a 12th edition came out and you just wish you had dropped the class in the first place but you're in too deep in the semester? Well, now you have the opportunity to finally get your money's worth-- use it to deflect pieces of hail as they plummet towards you! You can kill two birds with one stone by getting out some residual anger and enjoying the show.

If it does end up being sunny and nice, then by all means wear your fling tanks and have fun. But if the weather inevitably goes wrong, then we hope to have helped you figure out how to prepare in advance. Also, if there's a freak hailstorm, it's probably best just to stay inside.

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