Freshman Bladder Shames Ben

This weekend, a student in Ware just couldn’t hold it in and was fined for peeing on the Benjamin Franklin statue, confirming that sickening feeling we get whenever visitors put their children on Ben's lap for a picture. We already know that some freshmen never learn, but shouldn’t this rogue urinator have been forewarned?  Luckily, the $50 fine isn't as bad as the punishment you might expect for committing the ultimate act of Penn blasphemy. That’s only one Grant or five Hamiltons to make your mark on our favorite founding father. Next time, we suggest bringing a friend along—we just love the thought of paying a Benjamin for Benjamin.