Features  Published 08/07/14 11:00am

The Top Ten Most Unforgivable Penn ’18 Posts

Now that it's officially August, we're starting our NSO countdown, because tbh we're ready to go back and start a new year. And what better way to ring in a new year than to give the new class a "formal" introduction?

Oh dear freshman, we're usually pretty lenient: we'll let you get into our parties even if your ratio is off, we'll let you keep your precious little meal swipes (for now), and we'll let a lot of the shit you do go because we wouldn't expect such plebeians to know the drill.

But then we saw this, and we just couldn't help ourselves. Follow along as we give praise to the 10 lamest posts on the Penn '18 Facebook page. Let this be a lesson, ducklings: what you write on the Internet lives on forever.

1. Most likely to think the toga party was the best part of freshman year. This kid is also the one who posts incessantly in his/her freshman hall Facebook group about planning a reunion.

2. Most likely to cannot even/can't deal/literally cannot. My double in the quad doesn't have its own sink, but yours does? I literally cannot.

3. Most likely to low-key drop Math-104. How will I get in to med school if I can't even maintain a 4.0 my first semester of college?! (Editor's Note: You're going to give up on being pre-med regardless.)

4. Most likely to have been rejected from Cornell. He was also most likely ranked sixth in his class, and was seriously pissed about it.

5. Most likely to have his first kiss on a Bankers-covered dance floor, but still be really stoked about it. 'Sup, virgin.

6. Most likely to think Frozen is still a thing. LOL, "run these streets". Oh sweetheart, are you lost?

7. Most likely to write a dramatic post for Philly Mag that circulates for a day. And then goes unseen for generations to come.

8. Most likely to sign a lease with her roommate on an apartment in the Radian immediately following NSO...only to find out in January that her true soulmates are in her pledge class. SOS, THIS IS SERIOUS!

9. Most likely to fail his/her first chemistry midterm. How's that 100 on your AB exam looking now?* (Honorable mention: Most likely to attend every one of AGut's parties, where she'll shush you whenever you speak.)

*Oh, and we don't give a fuck about your grades.

10. Most likely to knock on your dorm room at odd hours of the day (and night) and not leave. The last person we'd "make a promise" to is a random kid in our 2,000-person class who WE DON'T EVEN KNOW.

Thanks for the showing us what we're in for, Class of 2018! May we continue to feature your cringe-worthy behavior on our blog all year long. Cheers!

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