Blog Posts by Allen Zhu

05/07/18 10:12am

Report: 90% of Premeds Would Definitely Eat Their Best Friends if Trapped on a Deserted Island

This is especially true if their best friends are ruining the curve.
05/01/18 11:55pm

Oh Shit: Dude You Were Teabagging in Fortnite Was Actually Your Chem TA

04/27/18 3:52am

Report: Girl Sitting on Toilet in VP Basement for Past 12 Hours, Waiting for Everybody to Leave So She Can Take a Peaceful Shit

04/25/18 12:33pm

Glow Up: Former High School NHS President Makes it to 9 A.M. On Time for the First Time in Months

04/24/18 7:57am

Report: 9/10 Students Sitting on College Green Have Ants Crawling Up Their Butts

04/17/18 10:06am

Girl Typing Furiously at Front of Lecture Isn't Actually Taking Notes, Just Messaging 8 Group Chats at Once

04/12/18 6:03am

5 Reasons Why the Walmart Yodeling Kid Should be the Next Penn President

04/11/18 7:03am

OP-ED: I'm All for Sex Positivity, but Please Don't Bang Your Man at 5 AM on a Tuesday

04/05/18 5:26pm

Penn to No Longer Invest in Unethical and Unprofitable Ventures

04/04/18 3:27am

OP-ED: Not to Be a Conceited Bitch, But My Twitter Is Incredible

03/27/18 12:10am

Socially liberal, fiscally conservative, and sexually frustrated | How hooking up at Penn is harder as a conservative

03/27/18 12:08am

Where does your tuition really go? We crunched the numbers.

03/22/18 3:16pm

Meet the Girl Who Modeled for ‘The WALK’ One Time and Is Dropping Out to Pursue a Modeling Career

03/19/18 1:05pm

OP-ED: Hey Dude, Please Like This Article and Tag Your Friends in the Comments

03/16/18 12:51pm

5 Signs the Talkative White Guy in Your Seminar Was on Debate Team in High School

03/11/18 5:44am

'I Don't Have a Thing for Asians,' Says Bro Currently Deleting Hentai Off Browser History

03/02/18 6:07am

5 Ways to Relax Over Spring Break Despite Having No Internship Offers and 3 Midterms Right After Break

02/21/18 6:31pm

Fuck Global Warming, but 70 Degree Weather Makes Me Forget My Existential Dread

02/20/18 4:46am

OP-ED: No Thanks, I Don’t Want Adderall, My Hands Are Already Shaking from Talking in a Class Discussion

02/19/18 10:29am

Report: 'The Climb' by Miley Cyrus Written About 38th St. Bridge

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