Blog Posts by Alex Xu

05/09/18 11:04am

Junior Rejected From Summer Internships Goes Back to Starting Fake Companies Again

"Since he was a determined, Type A, business-minded hustler, he called up a few of his more technically inclined friends to code the app."
04/29/18 11:58pm

'This is the Hardest Week, and Then I’m Done,' Says Junior Every Week Since February

04/27/18 11:55pm

​OP-ED: Roommate Used Three Bottles of My Argan Oil Conditioner But Venmo Charged Me $0.45 For an Aleve

04/22/18 11:06am

OP-ED: I'm In the College But I'm Transferring To Wharton And It Was Totally Unplanned

04/16/18 2:27pm

Freshman Thinking Up Excuses to Miss Lecture Realizes No One Actually Cares if He Skips

04/15/18 10:22am

​Prospective Freshman's Dinner With Parents Interrupted by 'Deepthroat' by CupcakKe

04/08/18 5:52am

Woke Penn Student Watches 'Black Panther' and 'Love, Simon' in the Same Weekend

04/05/18 1:58pm

Professor Looks Away And Walks Briskly After Making Eye Contact With Student

03/27/18 12:08am

Where does your tuition really go? We crunched the numbers.

03/21/18 1:47pm

My Professor Still Hasn’t Learned How to Use the Projector, Please Don't Give Him a Gun

03/20/18 12:36pm

OP-ED: Yeah, We Can Be Exclusive, but Only Because I Haven't Figure out Housing This Summer

03/01/18 4:31am

Freshman Has Really Insightful 12th Point to Make but TA Has Begun Searching for 'Someone Who Hasn't Spoken'

03/01/18 4:30am

OP-ED: Seriously, You're Still Writing '2017' on Your Papers?

02/20/18 4:48am

Freshman Pulls Dorm Fire Alarm so He Can Shit in Peace

02/10/18 1:35pm

Penn Physics Chair Comes Out as Flat Earther

02/06/18 12:38am

Freshman Dropped During Rush Calls Cops on Every Frat Party

02/03/18 10:40pm

Sophomore Attends Sunday Mass the Morning After Mass Orgy

02/02/18 1:00pm

OP-ED: My Roommate Is Out Tonight, But That Doesn't Change Anything About My Sex Life

02/01/18 8:50pm

'This is the One,' Says Senior Who Fucked Up Past Seven Semesters

01/30/18 5:30pm

Local Student Sublets Mom's House

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