Joke Issue 2012
Joke Issue: Bilsky cancels The Line forever
The athletic department announced Tuesday that it will finally put an end to The Line, a tradition one Weigthman Hall insider said was “less relevant to Penn students than the DP.”Joke Issue: BREAKING: Sr. F Belcore jumps over piece of paper
Tuesday evening at the ESPN Sports Science laboratory, Rob Belcore performed what seemed impossible four years ago: he jumped over a piece of paper.Joke Issue: Oxygen to broadcast Ivy League games
The Ivy League has finally caved to the pressure and signed a national TV deal for its football and basketball teams.
Joke Issue: Students declare 'the last straw' of protesting
The new student group Students Reacting Strongly to Lots of Yelling protested on College Green yesterday to show their disgust at the number of protests and rallies that have occurred on campus this year.Joke Issue: Field Hockey to get new field
On Tuesday, Penn Athletic Director Steve Bilsky announced he would be installing an AstroTurf field in the Penn Park space between the tennis courts and the South Street Bridge.Joke Issue: Quidditch becomes newest varsity sport
On Wednesday, Penn’s athletic director Steve Bilsky announced that Penn would add a varsity team next year: Quidditch.Joke Issue: Penn Panhandlers Union hold first meeting in McDonald's
The Penn Panhandlers Union had their first General Assembly inside McDonald’s.Joke Issue: 'DP' to charge for online content
To emulate The Wall Street Journal and The New York Times, The Daily Pennsylvanian will begin charging readers $20 a month to read online content.Joke Issue: Gutmann to hire house cleaner as work-study position
On Tuesday, students lined up in hopes of gaining the coveted position of house cleaner for Penn President Amy Gutmann, a new work-study job posted earlier this week.Joke Issue: Furda: sexy and he knows it
Dean of Admissions Eric Furda has been selected to participate in the 15th season of “Dancing with the Stars,” the producers of the show announced earlier this week.Joke Issue: Students in 'Monk' class arrested for public intoxication and arson
Three Penn students were arrested at 11 p.m. last night for public intoxication and arson, Division of Public Safety reported.
Joke Issue: Liquor store to occupy Philly Diner location
Penn announced yesterday that a new liquor store will occupy Philly Diner’s old location next month.Joke Issue: 'Not Penn State,' says admit office
More than 400 Penn acceptance letters were accidentally sent to Pennsylvania State University applicants, Dean of Admissions Eric Furda announced in a statement Tuesday.Joke Issue: Engineering School to switch to AOL email
Over the next year, all engineering students will be required to switch to AOL from their current SEAS emails as the Engineering school shuts down its own email servers.Joke issue: Editorial | ‘DP’ drinking game
As a sequel to our 2011 State of the Union Drinking Game, here’s another drinking game to make your daily perusal of the ‘DP’ a little more exciting.Joke issue: FlingSafe gets wild with opium den
Monday morning, a group of FlingSafe members were arrested for selling and smoking opium in a Fisher Hassenfeld dorm room.