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Joke Issue 2013

03/27/13 10:06pm

Storify | Joke Issue 2013

See how everyone reacted
03/27/13 12:15am
Penn Athletics is set to release The Best of Jerome Allen as part of the coach’s musical debut.
03/27/13 12:15am
For its new series, “The Halperts,” a spinoff of the hit comedy “The Office”, NBC has chosen Eric Dolan to be cast a Jim Halpert.
03/27/13 12:12am
Penn basketball is featured on the next season of HBO reality sports documentary TV series “Hard Knocks”…and it goes about as well as you would expect.
03/27/13 12:12am
After Athletic Director Steve Bilsky decided to fire Jerome Allen, he decided to stay within the Penn community yet again, hiring women’s basketball coach Mike McLaughlin as Allen’s replacement.
03/27/13 12:11am
Penn’s really got a lot of great athletic traditions, but all I ever hear about is how no one seems to care anymore. I’ve only been here a couple of weeks now, so I’m not really sure what to think of this.
03/27/13 12:10am
The Crimson’s recent quiz bowl scandal led to the discovery of numerous cheating scandals around Harvard, including the revisiting of last year’s controversy involving basketball starters Brandyn Curry and Kyle Casey.
03/26/13 11:48pm

Joke Issue: Don’t oppose the majority’s authority (DOMA)

Today, the Supreme Court is hearing oral arguments about the constitutionality of the Defense of Marriage Act.
03/26/13 11:14pm

Joke Issue: The Making History campaign, uncensored

Find out how the $4.3 billion is REALLY being allocated.
03/26/13 11:09pm

Jim Kahn | Joke issue score: DP 129, readers -129

The Daily Pennsylvanian’s annual gag issue has a long history, of which another chapter has been written today. Every year at about this time, tradition dictates that DP editors turn their usually proper paper into a playful parody.
03/26/13 10:13pm

Joke Issue: Automatic funding cuts loom over student government

In the face of the looming student government sequestration, the verbal blows between administrators and student leaders have begun.
03/26/13 9:55pm

Joke Issue: Penn Police shows little concern about string of robberies

A wave of lunchtime robberies has many students hungry for an answer.
03/26/13 9:41pm
DRL is coming soon to a location near you.
03/26/13 9:32pm

Joke Issue: Gutmann gets ratchet, makes slip-up on Twitter, sources say

If Amy Gutmann gets her wish, she’ll be getting “ratchet” and going to spas with Vice President Joe Biden in a few weeks.
03/26/13 8:51pm
Look out for some new soup options offered at 1920 Commons in the next few weeks.
03/26/13 8:41pm

Joke Issue: Foreskin costumes to appear on College Green this week

Members of the Penn Hillel community are banding together in support of a prospective student who wrote about more than just his world-famous matzah balls in an application essay.
03/26/13 8:25pm

Joke Issue: Writing Seminar removed because it says and does nothing

While writing seminar has been at the core of the freshman academic schedule for years, Director of Critical Writing Valerie Ross announced Tuesday that it will be removed as a core requirement starting fall 2013.
03/26/13 8:20pm

Joke Issue: Shocking data gleaned from DP student government poll

The public is far less educated about student government than one may think.
03/26/13 8:09pm
Naderol is now officially “The Drink of the Quakers.”
03/26/13 7:59pm
After months of research and deliberation, Penn has finally decided to divest itself of the Wharton School.