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(04/02/09 1:57pm)
Today UTB stands not only for "UnderTheButton (dot com!)" but also "U The Best," because, well, you're the best. And Street's the best. And you know what else is the best? Our annual Best of Penn issue. You voted, and the results are in: Millcreek's the best place to while away your Mondays, Keith Niedermeier's the best when you're hot for teacher, Allegro's is the best spot when it comes to hitting the spot, and if you want to know what else is the best, you'll just have to read the whole list.
(04/02/09 5:44am)
Phew, thank goodness, we were afraid we would have to close the book on April Fools' Day '09 without so much as a moderately amusing prank to show for it. Fortunately, Wharton has come to the rescue: Today students in ACCT 102, a bread-and-butter course for Wharton sophomores, recieved a decidely troubling e-mail about their most recent midterm. It alleged cheating! Scheming! Betrayal! Exam rescheduling! Annoying and bummer-inducing, but not totally without historic precedent. Until students recieved a follow-up e-mail claiming that the previous message had not been sent by the professor: "I did not send the email that you received nor did I have any control over its distribution. Nevertheless, I am sorry for the anxiety that it has caused you." Um, what?
(03/31/09 4:11am)
For those of you who don't plan your schedules around a permanent date with Stephen Colbert at 11:30 each night, you may not be aware that Colbert fans recently stormed a NASA poll about what to name a new area of the international space station, tilting the results decidedly in favor of naming the room for Colbert. NASA balked, claiming the poll wasn't binding. And now a U.S. Representative has stepped in to back Colbert. And wouldn't you know it? It's the congressman for Penn's district, Chaka Fattah. He would. Fattah sits on the House subcomittee that oversees NASA's funding. (Hey, we wonder if he rubbed elbows with Colbert when he was on campus during the primaries.) Your tax dollars at work, people! We'll post the clip from tonight's show once it's available.
(03/30/09 9:04pm)
Before a few weeks ago, we had never seen so much as a free sample cheese plate in FroGro. Then CocoPop rice cakes arrived, and thus began their gradual takeover of the produce/bakery area. And now? It's CocoPop swag as far as the eye can see. The CocoPop "machine" is even on display, masquerading as a machine that makes things that are legitimately delicious, like popcorn and cotton candy. To that we say: CocoPop, despite your cute name and enticing calorie count (16 per serving...that's like 11 tic tacs!), you do not deserve such prime FroGro real estate. Move aside and make way for the novelty Easter cakes.
(03/30/09 2:16pm)
Locust Walk is full of cheesy posters and you keep ignoring invitations to join "Re-Elect That Guy Who You Met That One Time" groups on Facebook: yes, children, student government election season is once again upon us. This year, our friends at the DP have done us the service of putting together video statements for many of the candidates, and we highly recommend that you check the ridiculousness out. Our favorite so far? That would be Rico Moorer, who begins his address with, "Hello cats and kittens of the School of Arts and Sciences..." And you can e-mail him at ricowehaveaproblem@gmail.com! Rico definitely gets our vote for Vice President of Corporate Smoothness.
(03/29/09 4:00pm)
Oh no! Our friends at Onward State report that a Penn State student has come down with meningitis, the same disease that aflicted our own campus about a month ago. College is scary, especially if your school has the word "Penn" in its name. Indiana University of Pennsylvania, take this as a warning!
(03/27/09 4:08pm)
When Saxby's set up shop last semester, we tried to be open-minded. But we will suffer silently no more -- yesterday an unnamed caffeine addict mailed out a letter of complaint addressed to Saxby's, and she has generously allowed UTB to reprint said letter below.
(03/27/09 2:09am)
We're less than 24 hours away from Relay for Life, the all-night festival of performances, contests, and junk food that happens to be one of Penn's biggest fundraisers of the year. As the event draws near, competition among the top fundraising groups is heating up. Current top teams include MARCH for a cure, Circle K and Penn MERT and friends. Competition is even stiffer among individual participants, the top three of whom have already raised over $3,500 apiece. Since we happen to be chilling on a couch watching Grey's Anatomy with Emily Siegel, the current first place fundraiser (for the time being, at least), we decided to get the scoop on all things Relay, from how to raise thousands to whether anyone actually gets any sleep during the event. (This year, Emily is serving as team leader for Penn MERT and friends.)
(03/26/09 4:58pm)
FNAR, we must admit that of all the majors at Penn, you're the one we have a not-so-secret crush on -- which is why we're totally planning on stopping by tonight's opening reception for this year's thesis exhibition. The reception will take place at Charles Addams Fine Arts Gallery from 5 to 7 p.m., perfectly timed for swinging by after a long day of class (and still making it to the Street writers' meeting, if you're so inclined). It's open to the public and refreshments will be served. Now where did we leave that pretentious beret we wanted to wear...
(03/26/09 4:43pm)
Juniors and seniors will remember Class of '07 Renaissance Man Steve Danley, who played on the basketball team and poetry slammed with Exelano before heading to England as a Marshall Scholar. Danley contributes to the New York Times occasionally, and his most recent piece reveals that he finally found a pub across the pond where he can watch NCAA games. When he can fight off rowdy British rugby fans, that is:
(03/26/09 1:00pm)
Johnny Depp has a tattoo that says "Wino Forever," a relic of his failed relationship with Winona Ryder and the subsequent excruciating pain inflicted by removing an N and an A. We always thought it was unfortunate that Depp couldn't man up and get the O nixed too, because "Win Forever" makes slightly more sense than his current message. You can't count on Winona, you can't even count on wino, so what can you count on, aside from death and taxes? The answer is Street. 34th Street is there for you every week, through thick and thin. Street will never break up with you and render your tattoo obsolete. Street will, however, continue to provide scintillating content every week, like this week's feature on South Street's famous tattoo culture, our food editors' trusted opinion on the new cafe Lovers and Madmen, a guide to Philly's best spots for dancing, a nostalgia-inducing tale of mini-golf, a nursery rhyme about why you shouldn't pull a Juno, and lots more. Show off your tats, piercings, and body mutilations/illustrations at our writers' meeting tonight: 6:30, 4015 Walnut St.
(03/24/09 10:14pm)
UTB hears that Penn's senior societies have sent out their taps and will be hosting smokers for potential members this week. An inside source tells us that smokers are parties where tapped members of the class of '10 and current members of the societies can get to know each other, sorority-rush style. Friars hosted their smoker last night, with Mortar Board's tonight and Sphinx's coming up on Thursday. We assume that all the usual suspects in the junior class -- class board and UA bigshots, star athletes, Mask & Wig standouts, etc. -- were or will be in attendance. After this week, taps fill out applications (if tapped for multiple societies, they must pick one) and the exhaustive deliberation process begins. And then the real fun starts with initiation.
(03/24/09 4:26pm)
We love logging into public computers and finding other people's assignments, resumes, cover letters and assorted miscellany. Because it's internship-hunting season on campus, we decided to do a round-up of the best and worst job materials we recently came across on one anonymous Huntsman computer. Apart from removing identifying information, the examples below appear just as they did in the original documents.
(03/24/09 3:18pm)
Is finding new and unusual ways to spar the latest trend on campus? In today's DP, we came across both Krav Maga lessons (a.k.a. Israeli hand-to-hand combat) at Hillel and MBA boxing matches. (See the Krav Maga photo by our very own Alex Remnick at top right and on page 5 of the printed paper. A boxing pic from the DP is below it--we cropped out the loser, LOL. Tickets to the MBA gun show much?)
(03/22/09 6:23pm)
Getting into Penn's wine-tasting preceptorial is much harder than getting into Penn itself, or, what's more, any of the Ivies: we just got an e-mail that we were waitlisted :( The e-mail reads:
You have been currently placed on the waitlist of the Wine Preceptorial. Some 870 students applied for 20 spots. But, there is still a fairly good chance you may be able to get in.
Um, we don't know what class you took to fulfill your quantitative data analysis requirement, but a waitlist of 850 does not add up to a "fairly good chance." Your chances of getting into the wine-tasting preceptorial are roughly the same as your chances of getting hired at Google any time soon. However, if you're still dying to wax pretentious about wine, Philo offers a six-week wine-tasting course of its own for $140; details are here.
(03/22/09 4:44am)
Are you there, Amy Gutmann? It's us, UTB, and we think this might be the apocolypse: we hear Fresh Grocer is closed until 3 a.m. tonight. First Philly Diner, now FroGro...if they take Wawa away from us, we'll consider transferring to another school.
(03/20/09 9:39pm)
Here at UTB, we've been known to stalk Addams from time to time, which is why we're so excited to report the following: that awkward entrance walkway of wooden planks is no more! The walkway remains in place on 36th Street, where construction for the Annenberg Public Policy Center is underway, but now you can enter Addams by approaching from the west side of the building and walking on solid ground the whole time. Guess all the MFA's will have to get together and vote on a new "Official Spot To Smoke And Look Anguished"
(03/19/09 6:11pm)
Phillyist informs us that tomorrow Rita's will be giving away free water ice, which is what Philadelphians call Italian ice. (We don't want to get into this discussion, but seriously, water ice and Italian ice are the SAME THING.) Although we aren't lucky enough to have a Rita's right on campus, there are locations throughout the city. We're particularly fond of the Rita's next to Church's Chicken and the PNC Bank ATMs at the City Hall SEPTA station. The promotion goes from noon to 10 p.m. Gelato, here we come!
(03/19/09 9:49am)
It's been a long two weeks without Street in our lives, but thank goodness, now it's back, and we're so happy we can hardly stand it. The cover story delves into those crazy mosaics that dot South Street, along with the man who created them. Ego introduces us to Bob Goldman, a cyclist who has "an entire dresser filled with nothing but spandex in just about every color." Music comes down with a case of O(TB)CD, condition brought on by Off The Beat obsession. Food & Drink reviews Local 44, which results in 34 on 44, both of which are numbers we approve of. Finally, Lowbrow offers an answer to your burning question: Which Penn Alum Are You...In Bed? Yes, all that and so much more can be found in today's issue. So pick it up! And stop by our writers' meeting at 6:30 tonight, 4015 Walnut Street.
(03/19/09 3:23am)
Penn's late-night breakfast lovers are buzzing that Philly Diner is no longer open 'round the clock. Never as popular as Greek Lady or Allegro's, Philly Diner's saving grace was the fact that it never closes. FroGro and Wawa are also 24 hours, but for hot food like burgers and french fries, Philly Diner used to be your only option at 4 a.m. Now, you'll have to hope Newbyman's Burger Shack is open.
