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Sure, you might be too busy thinking about the latest celebrity that's coming to campus to speak, but have no fear: we're bringing you this week's events while you wait. Here are 5 campus events you definitely want to attend, as well as one Philly Pick of the Week!
Let's face it: you're cold, your skin is dry, and you're already ahead of yourself thinking about April, or how to waste time until Spring Break. Which is why it's never too early to speculate about the 2016 Spring Fling artist! With SPEC's talent budget usually hovering around $180,000, here are some of the many possibilities for this year's Fling performer.
Looking for a place to relax? Is this week just getting you down? No need to fret! We've got the perfect getaway destination for you. Why wallow only in the misery of the DRL lobby when you can also take a field trip to the back side of DRL? Your feet are soaked already, so bring your whole body with them as you bask in the comfort of shit-colored Adirondack chairs that are probably on the cusp of falling apart. Some flourishing foliage is kindly included on each corner of the terrace, too. Enjoy remarkable views of four slabs of concrete as they trap you in your despair — literally.
It's a trashbag! It's a wig cap! It's...a dirty sock on the doorknob of the Harnwell dungeon bathrooms? This little guy is reinventing the meaning of the old sock-on-the-doorknob trick. While seemingly scandalous, it seems unlikely that anyone is getting freaky in public high-rise bathrooms at 5:30 p.m. on a Wednesday. Or are we perhaps wrong? After all, cuffing season is right around the corner.
We found this week's RDAP at a social function at the University of Pennsylvania.
It's Election Day In Philly – November is here! For those eligible, be sure to cast your vote for mayor today. Go exercise those rights!
While you're out late thinking that Wawa, McDonald's and FroGro are the only establishments that are open past midnight, keep in mind that Wishbone is here for you. That means that even at 2 a.m., you can indulge in some warm, crispy fried chicken. Even better: Wishbone recently added some outdoor firepits, proving that not wanting to stay out because it's cold just isn't a real excuse. So grab your boxed wine, your graham crackers, Hershey's and marshmallows, because what else would you be doing on a Saturday night really?
Spotted: Yiddish vandalism on the roof of ZBT. Our bird's eye has some questions: is Zeta Beta Tau rebranding? Or were we wrong all along?
Our kind friend Pope Francis is coming to the city of brotherly love this weekend. The whole world is being put on hold: classes cancelled, concerts postponed, stores closed... But what if the Pope’s visit affected things we actually cared about? Here’s what we think should happen to the world in light of his visit:
With the fall semester well underway, we're bringing back an old tradition. Ladies and gents, we present to you our first of the year: random dude(ette) at a party.
Shoutout to Snapchat for snazzing up that dreary walk down Locust to your 9 a.m. Take this leafy graphic as just another sign that summer is slowly dwindling away. But hey, it's never too early to get festive.
Plebeians and peasants, hear ye. The day has come! Our beautiful queen V-Ba(e) is making her grand entrance to campus this Saturday. The SNL superstar, and a number of other fierce AF female comedians – including Aparna Nancherla (stand-up comedienne; writer for Totally Biased and Late Night with Seth Myers) and Michelle Wolf (Late Night with Seth Myers; @midnight) — will be featured in LaughtHERfest, the first ever women in comedy festival at Penn.
Anyone who was in Philadelphia at all this summer – those overachievers doing research, or anyone who came back to campus to check on a suspicious subletter – probably had Federal Donuts' new fried chicken sandwich on their radar at some point. The new creation was only available at FedNuts' shipping location in Spruce Street Harbor Park, but we're here to tell you the crispy, cheesy sandwich is back.
Seniors, the time has come: to forego what is left of your childhood, embrace becoming an adult and enter the real world. But thankfully there's a week left for potential senior debauchery. Have you ever longingly gazed at some cutie through the glass of a GSR? Or relished in the 30 seconds you got to spend with a hot guy or girl in a VP elevator, only to realize you'll probably never speak? The Last Hurrah, a matching app exclusively for Penn Seniors, is here to make your dreams come true. Any Penn senior with an email address can anonymously enter the names of up to 10 seniors that they'd like to hook up with, and if the interest is mutual, both parties receive a notice that they've "matched."
You heard it right — Federal Donuts is offering free donuts to any Penn student with a PennCard between April 28th and May 8th (and will be open 7 a.m. to 9 p.m.). So sink your teeth into a choice of Brown Sugar Cinnamon, Strawberry Lavender, or Vanilla Spice deliciousness as you sulk miserably in a VP group study room. There's a light at the end of the Finals-induced tunnel, and it comes in the form of fried dough and sugar. Thanks, Federal. You the real MVP.
This surely isn't the first episode of "the nutty professor" — from the hip to the scandalous, we've seen it all. Finals haven't started yet, but this week we bring you an Intro to Buddhism professor who just isn't taking your crap.
Remember how you felt that one time you were sipping on a scrumptious appletini at a nameless downtown bar when minutes later you and your friends were being herded like sheep to exit the premises at 2 a.m.? We feel your pain. And so does Jordan Harris, a state representative who is planning to introduce a bill that will allow Pennsylvania businesses to be able to serve alcohol until 4 a.m. Harris's goal is to "appeal to young professionals and millennials" more because "Philadelphia has lagged behind other major cities as far as nightlife is concerned." Ah yes, the Smokes clientele must be growing a little old – let us liven up the bar scene with more sceney downtown spots. Either way, expect your cocktails to (maybe) be there for you until 4 in the morning.
Ben & Jerry's Free Cone Day -- Today may seem dreary but nothing beats free stuff, especially when it comes in a waffle cone and has sprinkles on top of it. Slide on over to 40th and Locust and get your free ice cream today!
We've had our fair share of rankings this year — from the boast-worthy to the bizarre — but that never stopped USA Today from boosting our egos just a little more. Penn was ranked as the #1 best private college in the U.S., following the praise of Penn being the #1 college nationwide. Is this just USA Today's way of reminding us that we have to pay full tuition? Perhaps. But for now, bask in your glory and be proud of where you come from.
Vending machines in all college houses and in Sansom Place have recently upgraded their mediocre snack selection to include...condoms for only a dollar! Thanks to Penn Res and the UA, you no longer need to worry about an awkward interaction with your RA late at night when you realize you need to re-up on some Trojans. Don't confuse the condom for the Nature Valley granola bar, though – these babies aren't edible.