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(04/11/00 9:00am)
The Quakers fell behind 8-1 before their furious comeback fell just short. Due to inclement weather on Sunday, the Penn women's lacrosse game scheduled for 1 p.m. on Franklin Field got off to a late start. Its contest with Harvard was delayed by nearly an hour, as extra time was needed to clear snow off the turf. But even after a warm water treatment made the field presentable, the competition still didn't get fully underway for almost another hour. After all, the Quakers didn't really show up until midway through the second half. Unfortunately, when Penn put together its 5-0 run to end the game, it was too little, too late. The Quakers came up short by two goals and fell, 11-9, to the Crimson. "It's frustrating to see them play the game in the last four minutes when it's an hour long," Penn coach Karin Brower said. Penn actually put the first goal on the board when freshman Crissy Book scored five minutes into the contest. But the Quakers held this advantage for just 90 seconds, and it was their only lead of the afternoon. Lizzy Frisbie countered and began a 5-0 run for the Crimson, who took a 5-1 lead into the locker room at halftime. The trend continued after intermission, as Harvard tallied three more unanswered goals before Penn's Traci Marabella finally restarted the Quakers offense after its 30-minute sabbatical. Penn outscored the Crimson, 7-3, from there in, but despite efforts by Marabella, senior captain Brooke Jenkins and freshman Kate Murray, Penn could not make up for its early mistakes. "We weren't aggressive; we didn't go to goal; we didn't challenge on attack; and we didn't run the plays well," Brower said. "They out-hustled us. I don't think they were a faster team than us, but they just wanted it more." The Quakers had already dropped their first two Ivy contests of the year against Yale and Cornell, and with their only win coming against Columbia, yesterday's loss puts them at 1-3 in the league. According to Brower, the same problems keep spelling defeat for her team. "Cornell, Yale and [Harvard] -- we could have won those games, but we looked intimidated," Brower said. "I don't know if it's inexperience or what, but they say that they think they can beat a team, and then they don't play that way." After losing to Harvard, the first-year coach couldn't even find comfort in what seems to be her greatest feat to date. The Quakers have put five wins together this season -- a marked improvement from last season's 1-12 record. "[Brower] has done a really nice job," Harvard coach Carole Kleinfelder said. "The team is obviously playing so much better than last year. But they're young, so they're still going to make a lot of nervous mistakes." But just being better than last year isn't enough for Brower. "The thing that really bothers me is that I feel like -- yeah, we're better than last year -- but that wasn't so hard to do," Brower said. "We've got to win a game that counts, and that's important. We've beaten the teams that we should beat. We need to beat a team when it's a close game." Judging by the 11-9 score, one would think the game against Harvard was one such close contest. But anyone who braved the weather and journeyed to Franklin Field on Sunday could tell you otherwise. Even though the last few minutes provided plenty of excitement and hope for the Penn faithful, Harvard held a commanding lead for most of the contest until Penn changed its offensive strategy in the final minutes. "I'd been telling them the whole game that they could take their kids to goal and then finally -- in the last four minutes -- they go to goal," Brower said. "We didn't challenge their defenders and then finally like [Murray] decided to take her girl to goal and she got three shots off." Some personnel changes by the Crimson late in the game also made the Red and Blue's job a little bit easier. "They did change their goalie, which helped a lot," Brower said. "But whether or not they switched the goalie, at least we were getting the shots off." In addition to pulling goal keeper Nora Guyer, Kleinfelder also cleared most of her bench. When asked if the new lineup contributed to Penn's late run, the Crimson coach did not hesitate to respond with, "Oh yeah, no question." "Of course, it was still nerve wracking since it was a game that we'd had total control over, but I got everybody in who was sitting on the bench. We didn't play as well, but I always had [the starters] to put back in to stop it," Kleinfelder said.
(04/11/00 9:00am)
The Penn's women's track team continued its recent success and outshined its competition at the University of Pennsylvania Invitational at Franklin Field on Saturday. The Red and Blue dominated in their third outdoor meet of the season and recorded four first-place finishes against a field of 14 teams. Penn coach Betty Costanza called the competition "very good." However, the teams, including Rutgers, Temple, La Salle, Delaware State, Princeton and Villanova, were no match for the strength of the Quakers' hurdle, jump and sprint squads. Juniors Jajuan Gair (13.98) and Bassey Adjah (14.10) captured first and second place, respectively, in the 100-meter high hurdles. In addition to setting personal records in the event, the times set by Gair and Adjah qualified them both for the ECAC Championships on May 27-29. The strong performances of of junior Jen Thompson and senior captain Ruthie Neuhaus also earned them places at the ECACs. Thompson and Neuhaus held down both first and second place, respectively, Saturday afternoon in the triple jump competition. Freshman Meredith Bunche added to Penn's domination with a fifth-place finish in the event. The women concluded the meet by stealing a victory in the 4x400 relay. Sophomore Melissa MacIntyre, Adjah, sophomore Jeraldine Cofie and freshman anchor Petra Stewart ran a near flawless race to win the event. Their performance, as well as that of the 4x100 relay team, also earned them a berth at the ECACs in Princeton, N.J. Further burying the competition was Adjah's personal-record-setting measure of 5.77 meters in the long jump. Her closest competitor was Latisha Conte of Delaware State, who finished a full six inches behind Adjah. Penn's Melissa MacIntyre and Bunche finished third and fifth, respectively, in the event. That means that, of the top 10 finishers in the long jump and the triple jump, a total of six were Penn athletes. This weekend, the Red and Blue will face a healthy serving of Ancient Eight competition in New Haven, Conn., in a tri-meet in which they will face both Yale and Princeton. Costanza maintains that the competition will be tough because Yale shares many of the same strengths as the young Quakers squad. The sprints, jumps and hurdles will prove to be deciding factors once again. Though the Penn team is very young this year, its successes throughout the outdoor season have been roundly promising. All this success has come following the loss of 13 top seniors and the frustrations of a disappointing last-place Heps finish in the indoor season. But the Quakers are not looking back. Senior captain Richelle Clements, who placed fourth in a field of over 40 competitors in the 200, attributes the recent success of the team to the responsibility assumed by the team's three seniors. And as the entire team has shined as of late, the senior leadership has been naturally pleased. "It has been especially fun to watch the young talent [on the team] mature," Clements said. With only two meets left before the Penn Relays, the Quakers are happy with their improvement and are keeping their expectations high. "And we can only get better," Adjah said.
(04/11/00 9:00am)
Four games. Four runs. Four defeats. That was the story for the Penn softball team yesterday and Saturday as they dropped consecutive doubleheaders to Ivy rivals Yale and Brown, while putting together only four combined runs in the losses. The offensive struggles began in the Quakers' Ivy League opening doubleheader against Yale on Saturday at Warren Field. Despite a strong pitching effort by star freshman pitcher Becky Ranta, Penn (11-20-1, 0-4) was unable to get on the scoreboard against Yale senior pitcher Teri Hickey. The Quakers fell to the Elis, 1-0. The lone run of the ballgame came in the top of the third with an RBI double from Yale second baseman Kathy Ching. That would be all the support Hickey needed as she stifled the Quakers' bats the rest of the way, giving up only five hits while recording her third shutout of the season. Ranta, who dropped to 7-7, was the tough-luck loser, scattering nine hits in her team-high eighth complete game of the season. The second game appeared to be another close pitchers duel between Penn senior Suzanne Arbogast and Yale hurler Mariah Fike through the first four innings. Each team put one run on the scoreboard in the third inning, the Quakers run coming on an RBI single from freshman designated hitter Heidi Albrecht. But with the game knotted at one, the Elis erupted in the top of the fifth inning, scoring seven times on six hits to open a comfortable 8-1 lead behind a two-run triple from Yale first baseman Monica Lebron. Lebron and the Elis tacked on two more runs in the seventh to cap off the 10-1 victory. Arbogast fell to 2-7 on the season after giving up five runs on four hits while walking eight in 6 2/3 innings. After dropping two to the Elis, the Quakers looked to bounce back against Brown yesterday at Warren Field after the doubleheader, which was originally scheduled for Sunday, was postponed due to snow. But once again, the Penn bats could not get rolling, as the Bears left West Philly with 4-2 and 8-1 victories. In game one, the Quakers took a 1-0 lead in the third inning after freshman shortstop Crista Farrell grounded into a fielders choice with the bases loaded to score Arbogast. But Ranta, pitching in her second consecutive doubleheader, could not hold the Quakers lead, as the Bears scored fours runs in the top of the fourth, capped off by a two-run double by Brown third baseman Tami Parrot. The Quakers added a run in the bottom of the fourth when Penn sophomore third baseman Jen Moore walked and later scored on a wild pitch, but could not get more runs, as they fell to the Bears by a 4-2 margin. Ranta took the loss to fall to 7-8 on the season, while Penn freshman pitcher Dina Parise worked three innings of scoreless relief for the Quakers. But after the game, Penn coach Carol Kashow was less concerned about her team's pitching than the Quakers' lack of offensive production. "We need to score more runs -- we're capable of doing it," Kashow said. "The defense and pitching is solid, and we're getting people on, but we're not getting them home." The nightcap was more of the same for the Red and Blue as they were able to produce only run, dropping their fourth straight game, 8-1. The Quakers took a 1-0 lead in the first with a Moore RBI single, but the Bears fought right back with eight unanswered runs. Arbogast took the loss, but was not helped by her defense, which committed five errors in the game. Only one of the runs the senior pitcher gave up was earned. Brown hurler Erin Durlesser, who allowed one run on three hits in her complete game victory, was very satisfied with the win. "I felt like my team was behind me, and I felt like I was in control of myself and was able to hit my spots," Durlesser said. "These wins are really important for us." The Quakers know that they have the ability to turn things around. "We expect a lot more from the team than we've been showing," freshman outfielder Deb Kowalchuk said. "We're not playing up to our potential."
(04/11/00 9:00am)
Penn's spring party was started back in 1973 by three guys with a guitar and a Woodstock state of mind. The year was 1973. Three boys sat in a Quad dorm room, one singing a folk song while his friend accompanied him on guitar. As the music drifted out into the hallway, they talked about school and the upcoming end of the semester. An idea slowly grew between them as they were talking -- it was an idea for a festival, a celebration of music, culture and art. And together, on that February evening, the three Penn undergraduates came up with the idea for the first Spring Fling. "We were all pretty romantic in those days," said the guitar player, 1974 College alumnus Craig Salvay. "We were lamenting the tradition of Skimmer, it just didn't jive with what was going on in the early '70s -- the Vietnam War, the last of the Beatles." The students wanted to throw a party that would unite the entire school for one weekend with music, dance, food and thousands of students enjoying the sunshine. They chose an emblem for that first Fling -- the well-recognized painting by Matisse entitled "La Danse" depicting a ring of women dancing. The three men -- Salvay and 1974 Wharton graduates Robert Haft and David Dibo -- felt the painting captured the spirit they hoped Fling would embody. Little did these three students know that under their initiative, Penn had embarked on what would become a 27-year-old tradition, a veritable rite of the coming of a new season and an interlude before the lurking final exam period. They founded an event complete with headlining bands, free-flowing drink and thousands of students packed into the Quadrangle. "No one knew we were creating a tradition," Salvay said. "We were just having a good time." Come Together Though officially born in the 1970s, Spring Fling actually served as replacement for the tradition of Skimmer -- an event, dating as far back as Prohibition, when students cheered crew races on the Schuylkill River. But with a longtime reputation for rowdiness, Skimmer was banned by both Penn and the City of Philadelphia in 1972 for repeated misconduct. So when the student organizers discussed their vision for a new springtime event, they planned to steer away from the historically troubled Skimmer and instead introduce a festival that would better reflect the free-wheeling ideology of the era. The hair was long, the clothes tie-dyed and typical after-graduation plans included dropping out of society and living on a commune, according to Haft. "The social mores of the early and mid-'60s had given way to a total lack of social mores," Salvay explained. "There was an idealism that pervaded our lives then." Starting from scratch, the three students single-handedly organized the two-day party in the Quad that would entertain thousands of people. To make the party happen, they had to build a stage and solicit musical acts and local artists to perform on it; they had to recruit the 25 vendors to feed the masses; they had to build facilities for creative artists to display their handiwork. And when it was all over, they had to clean up. According to the three men, although they divided the approximately $800 expenses with Penn, they did all the grunt work themselves. They began planning and organizing in mid-March for the festival in late April. "It was totally free from University supervision," Haft said. "If there was any supervision, it was mine." And the men admitted that up until the final hour, they were far from sure that they would be able to pull it off. "There was this excitement of 'Is this going to work, what would happen if it didn't work?'" Haft said. Still, they persevered to put it all together. The men erected a makeshift stage and wired the Quad for sound and electricity. Salvay remembers hot-wiring the speaker system from a basement laundry room while standing in a puddle. He would have been electrocuted but for his rubber-soled tennis shoes. And they built the stage themselves with lumber from a local hardware store. "I remember carting sheets of plywood on my back from 40th and Market," Salvay said. The organizers also arranged for all the services, convincing downtown restaurants to sell food and soliciting local entertainment acts. "All the restaurants that could never get on campus rented space from us," Haft said, noting that the 25 vendors offered food ranging the gamut from Chinese to Italian. A campus institution at the time, "Al the Fruit Man" was one of the food vendors invited to the first Fling. He sold fruit out of the back of his aging Chevy station wagon parked beside the Quad. To get entertainment, the students called upon Philadelphia thespians as well as campus performers. "My roommate was an actor," Haft noted. "And he knew a lot of artists." Here Comes the Sun With all the preparations out of the way, the Fling weekend -- April 19, 20 and 21 -- rolled around. Each day students filled the Quad, listening to music, dancing on the Quad lawn and basking in the sunshine surrounded by blooming gingko trees and wisteria. "From Thursday night until Sunday we took over the campus," Haft recalled. "For a couple of days, you could suspend belief and see what the future might be like." Although many aspects of Fling remain the same, the men noted that social attitudes during that weekend were very typical of the 1970s. In fact, they compared the crowd to the attendees at Woodstock. "It was the era of sex and drugs and a very open era," Haft said. To open up the musical portion of Fling '73, Salvay played a personal composition on his guitar. "I was the first musician to play at the first Spring Fling," he boasted. The first few lines of his song still remain permanently in his memory, "Rise, see the new day begin," words that he believes embody the idealistic spirit that accompanied the creation of Fling. Haft recalls the improvised nature of the first Fling's musical acts. "We had doctors from HUP playing the harmonica," he said. Another of the original Fling traditions has faded into memory. In 1973, the organizers had difficulty attracting a star entertainer, instead ending up with a star square-dance caller. "People hadn't square-danced in 15 years," Haft said. "But we found a fantastic caller, and the whole Quad was rocking." With a 12-watt amplifier and an old-time guitar, the caller looked like he had come "straight out of West Texas," Salvay said. Thirty years later, Fling attendees take a more conservative approach to partying than their parents' generation, but much of the festival has withstood the test of time. The high point of Fling is still dancing to the tunes of a big-name musician. From the Psychedelic Furs in 1983 to Cypress Hill in 1994, the musical act has always reflected the varied preferences of the student body. And throughout the two days in the Quad, local musicians, student bands and a cappella groups entertain the crowds. One on-campus group has remained constant in their participation in Fling. Mask and Wig has closed many Saturday performances with their combination of musical satire and comedic play. "We close the show in Lower Quad on Saturday evening," said College senior Josh Slatko, chairman of Mask and Wig. "It's been going on as long as I have been around, and I am sure much longer than that." And the Beat Goes On Though the names of headlining bands and some of the activities have changed, the intent of Fling has remained constant, according to this year's Fling co-chairman Jason Ebert, a College junior. "People still get absolutely hammered and party like crazy," he said. "It is towards the end of the semester, the weather is getting nicer and everyone is in a party mode," Ebert added, echoing his 1973 counterparts. Lisa Malbacho, a Nursing senior and co-chairwoman of this year's Fling, came to her first celebration as a visiting pre-freshman. "We went to the outdoor Violent Femmes concert," she said. "There is something special about the outdoor element." One of the men who started it all returned to campus last year to see how Penn students today have continued his legacy. Salvay said the spirit of Spring Fling has not diminished over the years. "It is the celebration of humanity," he said.
(04/11/00 9:00am)
Several hundred people participated in Quaker Corps, a program designed to unite Penn with the West Philadelphia community. The streets surrounding campus were filled with students carrying trash bags, toting shovels and lifting saplings on Saturday as several hundred people rolled up their sleeves and headed out into West Philadelphia for the first-ever national Ivy League volunteer day. Students from the Undergraduate Assembly joined forces with UC Green -- a Penn initiative that seeks to improve University City's appearance by planting and gardening -- and Penn's Greek community to amass equipment and labor for the day-long activities. The event, Quaker Corps, was composed of four greening and building projects that were all part of a larger Ivy League plan, Ivy Corps, designed to unite each university with its surrounding neighborhood. Four different projects were spread over five sites, including the construction of a pavilion between University City High School and Drew School at 37th and Lancaster streets and the building of a brick path at 39th Street and Baltimore Avenue. Some members from Habitat for Humanity arrived at University City High School at 6:30 a.m. to begin the day's work of erecting a garden pavilion where only an empty lot had existed. Thirteen hours later, the huge construction project was 80 percent completed, according to College freshman David Levin, who helped organize Quaker Corps. "It was a momentous change bringing people together for this project," Levin said. "It changes our relationship with University City High School and Drew." Meanwhile, 15 workers toiled in the warm noon sun at the intersection of Baltimore and Woodland avenues -- the area known as the "Gateway to West Philadelphia," according to the site's project coordinator and recent College of General Studies graduate Alex Schlachterman. Penn undergraduates, graduate students and high school students, along with community members -- and even Tom Lussenhop, a Penn real estate official -- toted wheelbarrows filled with dirt in an effort to clear 225 square feet for a brick path. "'At first my friends were like, 'We can't even move wheelbarrows,'" laughed volunteer Vanesa Sanchez, a student at Germantown Friends Academy and the daughter of the director of UC Green. "But now they're like, 'Wheelbarrows are the fun part.'" Engineering freshman Shuo-Ju Chou helped two high school girls that were navigating a load down the sidewalk. Chou said he volunteered because he wanted to help out the community -- and discovered that, though rewarding, the work was pretty hard. "[The event] goes until two," Chou said. "I'll see if I can last until two." By noon, the cleanup was already in full swing in front of fraternity and sorority houses on Spruce and Walnut streets in conjunction with Greek Weekend. Dozens of students scoured the sidewalks with trash bags, while others used equipment to clean up the broken concrete and still others lounged on their porches -- taking a break from the hot sun and tough work. Directing his fellow fraternity brothers, John Buchanan, IFC executive vice president and Phi Psi brother, stepped back for a few minutes to soak in the scene. "No one takes care of this," Buchanan explained, shaking his head. "You have to take care of grass. That hasn't been done so we're replacing it with gravel. We wanted it to look clean and neat." Buchanan cited high attendance rates among the Greeks, with almost every sorority house and over a third of fraternities participating. And Jenny Turner, chair of the Panhellenic Council's Civic Committee, described the overall mood of the afternoon as positive. "I think everyone's having fun," Turner said. "It's a nice day."
(04/11/00 9:00am)
Currently lumped with their East Asian neighbors, natives of South Asia desire their own services and resources. When students apply to Penn, whether they hail from Pakistan, Bangladesh, China or Korea, Penn only gives them one option from which to choose in the ethnicity column -- Asian. Currently Asian-American students are the biggest minority student population on campus, accounting for 25 percent of the freshman class alone. But there are divisions within this minority group that students say go unnoticed. South Asian students think Penn too easily lumps Asian students together, considering them all to be of East Asian origins. In fact, South Asian students account for 6 percent of the freshman class, making them a significant minority group in their own right. "When people refer to Asians they refer to East Asians, and South Asians are sort of forgotten," said College senior Tariq Remtulla, outgoing chairman of the South Asia Regional Studies Undergraduate Advisory Board and co-chair of Sangam. East Asians come from countries such as China and Japan, while South Asian countries include India, Sri Lanka and Pakistan. The cultural and traditional histories of these two broad regions are very different, making the shared classification far too general for many. South Asian leaders said the available resources for Asian Americans focus mostly on the more established East Asian students, without much attention to the South Asian needs. And only one of the Asian Pacific Students Coalition's 12 constituencies, the South Asia Society, is primarily South Asian. South Asia Society Chairman Raj Ramachandran, an Engineering senior, said that although South Asians and East Asians have similar needs, they also have important differences. "Even though we are similar in our political needs, we are quite different in our ethnic needs," he said. He added, "I don't think the University recognizes the difference at all. There's no separate [check] box for South Asians." Among the resources that South Asian student leaders are pushing for are career counseling services, a meeting place for academic, social and cultural activities and performance space for the many South Asian performing arts groups. Remtulla also said that a large percentage of South Asian students are pre-professional, leading to a need for academic advisors targeting those students. A major recent debate within the South Asian community has been whether to break away from the APSC and form a separate South Asian political umbrella. But, for the time being, South Asian students have decided against this schism, saying they don't want to leave the APSC, they just want equal recognition within the group. "We never want to break away from our allies," Remtulla said. APSC chairman Sammy Sugiura, a Wharton junior, said exclusion of South Asians in the past was not intentional and that the group was striving to increase its South Asian representation. For the first time this year, South Asians have held positions on the APSC executive board. College senior Gaurab Bansal, co-chair of Sangam, said, "The APSC this year has done an admirable and tremendous job in reaching out to South Asians." But he added, "I think still more needs to be done. South Asians themselves need to get more involved." South Asian groups have made some efforts this year to increase solidarity among themselves. Groups such as Penn Masala, Sangam and the Bangladesh Students Association held informal meetings earlier in the semester to discuss supporting each other and co-sponsoring events. Asian-American students as a whole have been pressuring the University for more resources. The APSC and University President Judith Rodin have been discussing a proposal for a Pan-Asian American Community House since last year. Student leaders have said this space would cater to East and South Asians. Greenfield Intercultural Center Director Valerie De Cruz said in America it is increasingly important for South Asians and East Asians to bond together for political needs, but she noted that the two groups aren't coming from common ground. "Traditionally, they come from very different backgrounds," she said. "Culturally there isn't a lot of overlap."
(04/11/00 9:00am)
When T.J. Leyden was in the Marine Corps, he had a two-inch high Nazi "SS" tattoo on his neck, a copy of Hitler's Mein Kampf by his bed and a swastika poster in his locker. Leyden, who has since renounced white supremacy and is now a leader in the Simon Wiesenthal Center's Task Force Against Hate, spoke before an audience of about 150 people in Logan Hall last night about his 15 years as a neo-Nazi. The talk, held in honor of Holocaust Remembrance Day, was co-sponsored by the Holocaust Education Committee and several other organizations, including the InterFraternity Council, the German Department and Connaissance. "The story I tell you is one I'm not proud of having to tell you," Leyden said to open the talk. Leyden began by speaking about his entrance into the neo-Nazi skinhead movement via the punk rock scene of the late 1970s. Since his southern California neighborhood was predominantly white, Leyden and his fellow skinheads focused their aggression mainly on other local whites. "Getting a black, Hispanic or Asian was like a bonus," he said. "They would not make it out of my neighborhood without being beaten up." After graduating from high school, Leyden joined the Marine Corps, which he said "made [him] a better racist" by teaching him organizational and recruitment skills. For instance, at the Enlisted Men's Club, he would write racist statements like "Kill whitey" on the bathroom walls and try to get the white Marines to accuse the black Marines of having written the slur, fostering racial tension and hatred. Interestingly, Leyden spoke about working with other Marines involved in the Black Power movement, who would write phrases like "Lynch the nigger" to get a similar reaction from blacks. "If we could get the whole bar [fighting], that's what we were shooting for -- and some nights we did," Leyden said. Leyden then showed slides of tools -- such as "White Power" comic books and CDs -- that he used to recruit young teenagers into the movement. He explained that children just entering puberty were the easiest targets, because they are very concerned about "fitting in." Leyden also discussed his departure, both physically and ideologically, from the neo-Nazi skinhead group. He spoke briefly of his mother, who contracted polio at a young age and was subsequently treated by Jonas Salk's vaccine. "I may literally owe my life to a Jewish doctor," he said. "Ain't that a hoot?" Another wake-up call for Leyden came when he was watching television with his children, and his 3-year-old son turned the TV off and said, "You know better than that, Daddy. We don't watch shows with niggers on them in this house." At first, Leyden was proud that his son had learned so well, but then he began to think of the boy's future. "I had buried six friends in 15 years, and I had the ultimate sensation of fear that my boys would end up like that," he said. After Leyden left the movement, he became affiliated with the Simon Wiesenthal Center and now speaks all over the country about racism. He has been the target of several assassination attempts by members of the white supremacy movement who now call him "a traitor to his race." College sophomore Shana Coplowitz, the co-chairwoman of the Holocaust Education Committee, said she was pleased with the speech. "It went off really well," Coplowitz said. "I was impressed that so many people took time off on a busy Monday night to come hear this, and I learned a lot about neo-Nazi white supremacy."
(04/11/00 9:00am)
At least seven minority candidates were elected to the UA last week. Over the past year, the Undergraduate Assembly has made conscious efforts to diversify its membership -- attempting, essentially, to steer itself away from its historically white, Greek, male image. And judging from last week's election results, the changes are beginning to take form, with significant increases in minority representation on the UA. At least seven minority students were elected to the UA last week, compared with two minority students in last year's spring elections. Although about half the elected members are incumbents, there was still room for a diverse group of new faces. Last year's UA had a total of four minority members --Eincluding two elected in the fall freshman elections -- among its 33 total members. The group has been criticized for its homogeneity and neglect of minority issues in the past. But the the new additions could alter the general mindset of the UA. Both the UA and the United Minorities Council have agreed that the lack of minority students on the UA does not accurately represent the student body. Together, the UA and UMC have made extensive efforts to encourage minority students to get involved in student government and run for positions on the UA. The two groups have also embarked on various joint projects over the past year, including co-sponsored meetings on campus issues. The seven elected minorities came from a pool of about 20 minority candidates, itself a marked increase from previous years. Engineering junior and UA incumbent Mo Saraiya said that a larger presence of minorities on the UA will make the group more effective in addressing minority issues. "Because [the UA] doesn't have a stake in the issues, it's not as efficient in tackling them," he said. Mike Krouse, another UA member and member of the minority community, noted that a more diverse UA will prove effective. "Sometimes there's a lack of understanding of issues," the Wharton and Engineering junior said. Krouse attributed this to the "different mindset" that a less diverse UA may have toward minority issues. He added that the diversity of the body will help increase the perspective the body has on various issues. Krouse, who is running for UA chairman, also said that the increased number of minorities and continuing improvement in the UA's relationship with the UMC will increase the legitimacy of both student groups on campus. "Having both groups' support something together would project a unified front to the administration," Krouse said. UMC Vice Chairwoman Anita Patel said that with more minorities on the UA, the body can better address minority issues with or without the active support of the UMC. "[The UA] can work more independently without the UMC," Patel said. "They can now depend on the [minority] students elected." "Students will now hope the UA will address minority issues better," the College junior added.
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The labor monitoring organization now has 44 members schools. The Worker Rights Consortium held its official founding conference on Friday in New York, formally bringing into existence an organization that has been the subject of tremendous controversy at colleges and universities across the country. The meeting at Judson Memorial Church, near New York University's campus, brought together students and administrators from most of the WRC's 44 member colleges. Nearly all of those schools have joined in the past six weeks, which has seen a wave of protests urging colleges and universities to join the WRC. Penn has not joined the WRC, but withdrew its membership from a rival anti-sweatshop organization -- the Fair Labor Association -- in February after a nine-day sit-in by Penn Students Against Sweatshops, which opposes the FLA. Penn was the first school in the country to leave the FLA. Penn's Ad Hoc Committee on Sweatshop Labor, which is advising University President Judith Rodin on which of the two groups Penn should join, recommended two weeks ago that Rodin continue to withhold membership from both until they meet demands for increased representation for colleges and universities on their governing boards. At this point, nine of the 12 seats on the WRC's board -- including three student seats and six WRC Advisory Council seats -- have been filled. The three remaining seats will be held by representatives of member schools' administrations and will be decided on at a meeting of administrators in Chicago later this month. The FLA currently allocates only one of the 13 seats on its board to universities, with six seats going to apparel companies and six to human rights groups. According to WRC Coordinator Maria Roeper, Friday's four-hour meeting -- which was closed to the public and the media -- saw students, administrators and human rights experts involved with the WRC "airing concerns and having discussions and making sure that we're all at the same place." "People were nervous coming into this meeting," Roeper noted, saying that administrators and students from some schools came to the meeting with adversarial feelings after student-led protests on many campuses forced schools to join the WRC. At the conference, the WRC Advisory Council suggested the creation of four working groups of students and administrators to look at such issues as how factory information will be made public and how the WRC will work with human rights groups in developing countries to evaluate factory conditions. When several administrators at the meeting expressed concerns about the representation of universities on the WRC governing board, Roeper said, a decision was made to add a fifth working group to look at possible restructuring plans. The student members of the governing board -- elected nationally by USAS chapters at both WRC-member and non-member schools -- are Brown University student David Moore, University of Michigan student Peter Friedman and Purdue University graduate student Marikah Mancini. Brown and Michigan are WRC members, but Purdue is not. "The sense I got at the founding conference was one of collaboration" between students and administrators, Moore, a Brown junior, said yesterday, calling the decision to add the fifth working group on governing-board representation "phenomenally responsive." The six Advisory Board representatives include a Columbia University Law School professor, an officer of the AFL-CIO, a University of California labor policy specialist and a member of Congress. The FLA currently has more than 130 member schools, while the WRC has increased its membership in recent weeks to 44 schools, including the University of California system, which joined last week. Some schools have switched their membership from the FLA to the WRC, but others have retained membership in both groups. The WRC governing board is expected to hold its first regular meeting in June, when it may hear reports from several of the working groups.
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This year's Empty Bowls Dinner had a special significance for many of those in attendance, as it was held in memory of College junior Justin Finalle, who committed suicide late last month. For a donation of $5, participants at the third annual dinner at the Newman Center were provided with a soup-kitchen-style meal of salad, bread, a choice of vegetable or chicken noodle soup, cookies and beverages. They also received commemorative ceramic bowls made by students from nearby Episcopal Academy, symbols of the first Empty Bowls Dinner for which an artist crafted ceramic bowls for a soup kitchen. Penn Musicians Against Homelessness, Chord on Blues, and Dischord provided entertainment for the charity event, the purpose of which was two-fold: to allow students to experience the receiving end of a soup kitchen, and to raise money for the University City Hospitality Coalition. UCHC, a group of Philadelphia religious organizations, furnishes underprivileged citizens with hot meals every day throughout University City. Sunday night's dinner raised a total of $500 for UCHC. Engineering sophomore Amanda Spethman said that she and a group of Finalle's friends decided the dinner was an appropriate tribute to their friend because he felt strongly about social injustices like hunger. Finalle's roommate, College sophomore Jack Schneider, elaborated on the subject during a verbal memorial in which he noted Finalle's distress that "people in the world's richest country [did] not have enough to eat." "We hold the dinner every year, but it took on a whole new face after Justin died," said Spethman, a co-organizer of the dinner and one of Finalle's friends. During the dinner, Finalle's friends performed two songs in his memory -- Tonic's "If You Could Only See" and Sarah McLachlan's "I Will Remember You." Wharton senior Thalia Brown, who attended the event, touted it as "a great opportunity to hear campus groups perform while supporting a good cause." Wharton and Engineering freshman Christian Gaffney, who organized the event with Spethman, said "the turnout exceeded our expectations."
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It's unusual to have a room fill up half an hour prior to the scheduled start for a speaker in the Kelly Writers House. It is even more unusual to have people listen in from outside the window. But then again, it's not every day that American poet Robert Creeley, considered one of the pre-eminent living poets, comes to Penn. Creeley spoke at the Writers House last night before a filled-to-capacity crowd of more than 100 visiting scholars, professors and students. The crowd was so large that it stretched into several different rooms of the house. Creeley came to Penn as part of the Writers House Fellows program, an initiative made possible by a grant from alumnus Paul Kelly that allows students to meet face to face with important contemporary writers. Author Grace Paley came to the Writers House in mid-February as part of the same program, and author John Edgar Wideman will visit in late April. Last night, Creeley read about 15 of his poems and the works of other contemporary artists, as well. He shared some personal anecdotes, including one about how listening to a rap CD inspired him to write "Help," a poem that he then proceeded to rap. Creeley was introduced by Al Filreis, the faculty director of the Writers House, who described the poet as "the friendliest famous poet possible." College junior Leigh Esposito, a student in the Writers House Fellows seminar, told the audience that her exposure to poetry had been limited prior to reading Creeley. She said his poems, however, allowed her to see "the beauty of poetry and the power of words." "He is the most mesmerizing poet I've ever read, and one of the most direct poets there is," Esposito said after the reading. A Massachusetts native, Creeley was influenced by famous American poet and Penn alumnus William Carlos Williams. The author of numerous collections of poems -- including For Love, Pieces and The Finger -- Creeley's publishing career has spanned more than three decades. Today, Creeley lives in Buffalo, N.Y., and teaches poetry at the State University of New York at Buffalo. He has won numerous national awards and honors, including two Guggenheim Fellowships and a Rockefeller Grant. Creeley told the audience that his poetry is characterized by the use and interplay of sound and rhythm. "I was fascinated by what stringing of sounds were possible," Creeley said. Even American poet Allen Ginsberg, one of the leaders of the Beatniks, once revered Creeley's "syllable by syllable intelligence." "Creeley is an excellent poet and among the most famous contemporary poets. He perpetuates the practice of poetry and it was enjoyable to hear him speak," area poet Joanne Lichtman said. Writers House Director Kerry Sherin added, "He showed incredible sensitivity to sound and showed versatility in his poetry. His poetry is deeply American in style, highly condensed, and his poetry is my personal favorite." In addition to his open reading last night, which drew one of the largest crowds in the Writers House this year, Creeley will have brunch today with select students and professors. He will also participate in a live interview broadcast over the Internet, thereby making his comments available to people all over the world. Yesterday, he attended Filreis' seminar on "Contemporary American Literature." "Creeley was amazing in that he is really funny, witty and humble. His poetry made me think of images while I was listening to him," said Gina Renzi, a Temple University junior.
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With Madonna and Marvin Gaye blaring from the speakers and colored lights flashing, hundreds of Greeks danced the night away for charity Saturday at the Christian Association building. The Panhellenic Council, the InterFraternity Council and the Bicultural InterGreek Council co-sponsored the four-hour long Dance for a Cure, which raised $3,200 for the Rena Rowan Breast Health Center, Panhel's official philanthropic cause. Dance for a Cure was the centerpiece of Greek Weekend, a four-day series of events, showcasing fraternity and sorority life on campus. "It's great to be holding fun, non-alcoholic events and also be raising money for charity," said Panhel Executive Vice President and Phi Sigma Sigma sister Dayna Platt. IFC Executive Vice President John Buchanan agreed, citing Greek Weekend's traditional "social freeze" -- meaning that fraternities and sororities are not allowed to hold events where alcohol is served. "We want to encourage Greek houses to participate in Greek weekend events," said Buchanan, a College junior and Phi Kappa Psi brother. Juice and bagels for the dance were donated by Nantucket Nectars and Izzy and Zoe's, and Allegro's allowed the Greeks to purchase pizza at a 20 percent discount. Several area restaurants and bars also co-sponsored the event. Although the event was co-sponsored by all three Greek umbrella groups on campus, the several hundred students in attendance Saturday night were predominantly female. IFC President and Alpha Chi Rho brother Andrew Mandelbaum, a College junior, explained that although the IFC encouraged their members to attend, it did not require it. But the Greeks who did attend were very positive about the event. "Breast cancer's a great cause," said College junior Jen Maurer, a Phi Sig sister. "Since I'm in a sorority at Penn, this is a great way to support Panhel, especially since breast cancer has affected my family within the last year." The Rena Rowan Breast Health Center -- a division of the Penn Health System's Cancer Center -- is scheduled to open this fall. Panhel plans to raise more money for the center by making last fall's 5K Pumpkin Chase run an annual event. Other Greek Weekend events included a coffeehouse at the Alpha Epsilon Pi house -- which raised $872 for the Breast Health Center -- a street clean-up project in conjunction with UC Green and a field day for children in the PennPals mentoring program.
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Due to a housing shortage, all high rise rooms must accomodate one more person. Roommates will be randomly assigned. [NOTE: This article appeared in the annual joke issue.] With hundreds of students locked out of on-campus housing, the Office of Residential Living announced plans on Friday to squeeze extra people into each of the three high rises to ensure that all incoming freshmen receive housing. University President Judith Rodin ordered the move after her office received hundreds of letters and phone calls last week from parents of current students and potential incoming freshmen. The plan calls for every single in Harrison and Hamilton college houses to become doubles, while every double in Harnwell College House will become a triple and every triple a quad. Other residential halls will be unaffected. Housing officials estimate that this change will add about 500 beds to the 5,272-bed program, which should relieve the pressure that this year's enlarged freshman class added to Penn's residential system. "We know this will be an inconvenience to some students, but the fact that we have to do it at all really proves how successful the college house system has been," Director of College Houses and Academic Services David Brownlee said. Students who have already obtained on-campus housing in the high rises will receive letters in their mailboxes from Brownlee this week explaining how the change will affect them. Additional roommates will be randomly assigned, he said. "We'd like to give students the chance to pick their own new roommates, but it would be a logistical nightmare," Brownlee said. Many of those roommates will likely be freshmen who do not get housing in the traditional freshman residences -- the Quadrangle, Hill College House and King's Court/English House. Brownlee said that because of an increased number of upperclassmen choosing to stay in those residences, there are fewer beds available in those dorms for freshmen. Eighteen months ago, Penn announced an ambitious plan to overhaul its entire residential system by spending more than $300 million on renovations. That plan will add 1,000 beds to the system, mostly through building new dorms in Hamilton Village. But the overhaul is a 10-year program, and Penn will not see those additional facilities for several years. Brownlee, one of the architects of the college house system, said officials were caught by surprise by how quickly the number of students wanting to stay on campus increased. Last year was the first time since 1982 that students were turned away from the housing system. In the summer, the waiting list for housing reached 200 people, mostly transfer students who in the end spent most of their first semester living in the Sheraton Hotel. Rodin acknowledged last night that the move would be unpopular, but said students should "suck it up and deal." "What would they have me say to the potential incoming freshmen? Unless we take strong action, they will go elsewhere, and you know what that means -- a lower yield rate and a lower ranking in next year's U.S. News & World Report. And then I will never achieve perfect happiness," Rodin said. Penn Students Against Housing said yesterday they were against the new plan, and will show their opposition by becoming commuter students.
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The Athletic Department has decided to switch to campus hot spot Steve and Barry's. [NOTE: This article appeared in the annual joke issue.] And1 is AndDone. Yesterday, the Penn Athletic Department announced that it was terminating its relationship with athletic apparel supplier And1 due to what Penn Athletic Director Steve Bilsky termed a "necessity on our part" to make the Athletic Department more cost-efficient. To that end, Penn also announced yesterday that it was hiring campus mainstay Steve and Barry's to outfit its various varsity and junior varsity teams. "We're very happy to be associated with Steve and Barry's," Bilsky said. "Their 'Buy One, Get 28 Free' offers are extremely difficult to turn down. Now, I can go there and buy a marked-down Spring Fling '96 T-shirt and receive enough free clothing to outfit the entire softball team." At a press conference yesterday, Penn men's basketball team center Geoff Owens modeled the new look of the Quakers. Clad in a "Not Penn State" shirt, Owens seemed happy about the switch. "Yes. I enjoy these new shirts very much," Owens said deliberately and slowly as he nervously eyed Bilsky. "'Not Penn State.' I get it. It is very amusing. What a zinger." But one Penn athlete who asked not to be identified was critical of the change. "The world made sense an hour ago!" she said, weeping in her new "I'm a Wharton Mom" T-shirt. Despite several such doubts concerning the Penn Athletic Department's plan, Bilsky defended the new uniform arrangements. "'Not Penn State!' Come on! It works on so many levels," he said. "First of all, it's true! I mean, we're not Penn State, not the last time I looked. Second, it's really, really funny! I mean, whoever thought that up must be, like, a millionaire now." After the press conference ended, Bilsky continued to justify the switch. "Listen, fencing and women's squash aren't helping to pay the bills," he said while relaxing in the Athletic Department's new office hot tub and watching The Little Mermaid on DVD. "The money to fund dozens of varsity sports has to come from somewhere. We save a ton of bones at Steve and Barry's. "Don't go into the cave, Ariel! Your father said not to!" he added. "Every time you watch this, you hope it turns out differently. But it doesn't." He paused for a moment before lifting a cigar up to his mouth. "Ahhhhhhh?" Bilsky said, a plume of smoke rising into the stuffy air of his cushy Weightman Hall office. "You know, it's almost impossible to duplicate the taste and feel of real Cubans. But I told Alanna [Wren, AD administrative assistant] and the rest of the staff to work all night if they had to, and I think they came pretty darn close." Bilsky also said that some of Penn's varsity teams would be clothed by the Athletic Department itself. "Yeah, I got a bunch of these Penn NCAA Tournament T-shirts down in Carolina, but I couldn't get rid of them," he said. "A few alums in the stands wanted them, but after that, it was like I couldn't give them away. I tried everything! I used one to wax my car, I used one as kindling to start a fire in my fireplace at home. I even put dog poo in one, tied it up, lit it on fire, left it outside of Bagnoli's office, rang the doorbell and ran around the corner. That was awesome! Oh, the hijinks that ensued! Yet, I still had more T-shirts than I knew what to do with. "But now, I am proud to say that they are the new uniforms for the Penn tennis teams. Or, do you want some?"
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SPEC canceled the two groups after learning of longstanding animosity between them. [NOTE: This article appeared in the annual joke issue.] After learning of a history of bad blood between this year's Spring Fling headline bands, the Social Planning and Events Committee announced yesterday that it will terminate its contracts with both the Roots and Ben Folds Five. The decision, announced in a press release yesterday, had been brewing for the past week, and now leaves the annual Spring Fling concert without performers with just four days until showtime. "Safety is always a top priority at our concerts and we determined that having the Roots and Ben Folds Five play at the same venue would create a hostile and potentially dangerous environment," said Fling Co-Chair Mike Silverstein, a College junior. The conflict between the two groups stems from an incident at a 1996 Penn State concert where Ben Folds Five frontman Ben Folds threw his microphone stand into the crowd, injuring three people, including a member of the Roots entourage. Since then, the two groups have had several altercations, including a small melee at the 1997 Grammy Awards. SPEC officials are now scrambling to find replacement acts for Friday night's show at Hill Field. Silverstein said yesterday that SPEC will work in partnership with Connaissance, the Speaker People, to sign a band on such short notice. Although it usually takes several weeks to make arrangements with big name musical acts, rumors that pop star Britney Spears is a possible replacement have been circulating. Spears' 1999 hit "?Baby One More Time" -- which launched her onto the music scene and made her the obsession of horny teenage boys everywhere -- is the inspiration for this year's Fling theme, Fling Me Baby One More Time. The rumor involving Spears arose after it was learned that Connaissance co-Chairman Theo LeCompte's father is the agent for the bubble gum pop diva. Silverstein refused to comment about the rumor, though he did say that "although Spears is hot she has no musical talent whatsoever." However, in an interview late last night, LeCompte -- who helps give pretentious introductions every time a big speaker comes to campus -- said he would love to see Spears work her magic at Fling. "Honestly, I'm one of her biggest fans," LeCompte said. "Her words have such meaning, such power, that I couldn't pick a better Fling performer myself. And as I am the Speaker Person, I think I can get her here." After learning of the possibility that Spears will headline Fling, members of Penn Students Against Britney staged a protest in University President Judith Rodin's office last night, burning hundreds of copies of "?Baby One More Time," and Seventeen magazine.
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[NOTE: This article appeared in the annual joke issue.] Under the pressure of the current on-campus housing shortage, members of Penn Students Against Sweatshops have decided to vacate their rooms and move into University President Judith Rodin's office on a permanent basis. Although Rodin announced plans to increase the space in the high rises, PSAS members said they did not think they could find any housing together, which they need to plan their multiple protests and play bongo drums. They added that this housing was highly convenient. "It saves us time," said PSAS spokeswoman Anna Roberts, a College freshman. "Next time Judy screws up, we'll already be there." Rodin's office will join the on-campus housing options as the 13th college house. But unlike the other houses, this option will only be available to those who check the box reading "leftist hippy radical" on their housing applications. "As long as [PSAS members] are not using my fax machine, I don't mind," Rodin said. "They better not touch that damn machine." Rodin added that should her office odor become too much to handle, she would relocate her primary office space to her estate on the Main Line. PSAS members approached University housing officials last week with their idea after hearing about the 350 students who were denied housing. "We don't really need dorm rooms," said PSAS member Harrison Blum, a College sophomore. "I mean, it's not like we take showers anyway." Brownlee said he was initially apprehensive about the plan, but agreed when PSAS suggested that Rodin's office could be considered a unique new college house. "This is another sign of the great success of the college house system," Brownlee said. He added that Jennifer Baldino will serve as house dean. "I'm looking forward to working with the whiny little brats -- er, I mean students," Baldino said. The house will also be equipped with several sets of new bongo drums and media hookups to allow for daily press conferences. Penn Students Against College Hall expressed displeasure with the new housing plans and said they are considering stealing all of PSAS' bongo drums.
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[NOTE: This article appeared in the annual joke issue.] One week after announcing that he may not return to the Penn men's basketball team for the 2000-01 season, forward Oggie Kapetanovic has signed with a professional team in Pakistan. The 6'10" Kapetanovic, who will be the tallest player in the history of Pakistani basketball, believes that he will receive much more playing time in Pakistan than he would if he decided to remain at Penn for another season. "I mean, Dunph says that I'm an important part of the team, but I don't play. You know what I'm saying?" Kapetanovic said. "And the guys who play my position are coming back next year, so where will I get my time? You know what I'm saying? I wanna play. I don't want to be a sub. You know what I'm saying? At Penn, I'm just a sub. I don't wanna be a sub. You know what I'm saying?" Kapetanovic, who is taking six classes this semester and three over the summer in order to graduate early, had originally hoped to play for a European team. Since he is a dual citizen of Yugoslavia and Canada, Kapetanovic is not subject to the limit of two American players per team that is a rule in most European leagues. Originally, he wanted to sign with one of the top leagues in Italy, Greece or Turkey. After exploring his options, however, Kapetanovic found the best option coming from the Karachi Nehrujackets in Pakistan. "We are very pleased to be signing Oggie. Very pleased," Karachi coach Vikramjit Balasubramaniam said. "Very, very pleased." Kapetanovic signed a three-year deal worth 60 camels and a lovely wife with the Nehrujackets. The only other offer he received was from a team in Iceland for $10,000 and a bike. "We wish Oggie the best of luck in whatever he does," Penn coach Fran Dunphy said. "We'd like to see him come back to Penn, but we respect what he wants to do." This past season, Kapetanovic averaged 12.9 minutes per game, scoring 3.9 points and pulling down 2.6 rebounds per contest for the Quakers. Frustrated by his lack of playing time, Kapetanovic began to think about his future during the middle of this past season. He informed Dunphy of his decision to play overseas during a meeting last week. "I just want to play, and if I stayed here, I wouldn't play," Kapetanovic said. "You know what I'm saying?" Kapetanovic will likely get a significant amount of time in Pakistan, especially because most of the league's players are under six feet tall. Many have also never played basketball before. "Oggie shall be a star for us," Balasubramaniam said. "He will block many, many shots." This year, Kapetanovic blocked just two shots, both of which came in the Quakers' 68-58 season-ending loss to Illinois in the first round of the NCAA Tournament. Kapetanovic, who transferred to Penn after spending his first two seasons at Brown, is expected to make an immediate impact for Karachi next season. In a recent pick-up game against other players in the Pakistani league, Kapetanovic scored 63 points, while recording 27 rebounds, 19 blocks and 11 assists and leading his team to a 91-6 victory over the Islamabad Cricketeers. "It definitely beats being a sub for Owens or Ugonna," Kapetanovic said. "You know what I'm saying?"
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[NOTE: This article appeared in the annual joke issue.] University President Judith Rodin misses "the way things used to be" at Penn, she said on Friday after announcing that the University's 12 college houses will return to single-sex status in the fall of 2001. "Co-ed dorms breed pregnancies and a whole lot of distractions," Rodin said. "Something must be done to prevent problems like these." The University Trustees approved the president's proposal that the campus be divided into a west campus and an east campus, with the 38th Street bridge serving as the connection between the two sides. The dorms west of the bridge -- Harnwell, Harrison, Hamilton, Gregory and DuBois college houses -- will be male residence halls, while the Quadrangle, Stouffer, Hill and King's Court/English college houses -- all east of the bridge -- will be designated for females. "Hooking up should be more of a challenge," said Rodin, who as a Penn undergraduate lived in then-all female Hill House. Under the new housing arrangement, students will not be allowed in dorms of the opposite sex between midnight and 7 a.m. Spectaguards will be charged with enforcing this rule, and will receive bonus pay for each attempted violation they report. Director of College Houses and Academic Services David Brownlee said he thinks the move will only improve the already flourishing college house system. "Really," he asked, "how much better can this program get?" Meanwhile, Rodin said she hopes the change will raise student GPAs across the board and bring back the creativity currently lacking in the student body. "When I was an undergraduate, we had to be creative to get ass," Rodin said, adding that climbing through windows and substituting pool tables for beds were common practices. Students' reactions to Rodin's news were mostly negative. College sophomore Craig Platt was practically speechless after hearing about Rodin's plans. "What the?" was all that the irate Platt said. Meanwhile, College junior Kei Yamamoto, a resident advisor on the 11th floor of Harnwell, said, "If enough students are disgusted by the new arrangement, there will no longer be a housing crunch on campus." And Sugata "Sugar" Ray, a Wharton sophomore, explained, "No one, not President Rodin, not the guards, can stop me from climbing through windows to see my lady friends in the wee hours of the morning." Penn Students Against Single Sex Housing will be holding a 24-hour orgy in Rodin's office starting today to protest the housing change.
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[NOTE: This article appeared in the annual joke issue.] Watch out Philadelphians: If you're packing on the pounds, you might have to pack your bags and head out to fat camp. Disappointed by the lack of initiative residents have taken to lose weight during his first few months in office, Mayor John Street has come up with a new way to trim the city -- mandatory exercise class. Under Street's new plan, all overweight Philadelphians will be required to attend weekly exercise classes -- much like traffic offenders must complete volunteer work -- and visit the mayor's office in City Hall once a week to be weighed. "No longer will Philadelphia be mocked as the fattest city in America," Street exclaimed. "We have to fight the fat, beat the bulge!" The program will be run out of a building slated for the former DisneyQuest construction site at Eighth and Market streets. The facility, expected to be completed in 2002, will feature several floors of exercise equipment, an indoor track and a mural of the mayor both before and after his remarkable weight loss. Yesterday's announcement is the latest of several moves by Street to clear Philadelphia of its reputation as the fattest city in America. Already the mayor has appointed a fitness czar and appeared on Oprah to speak about obesity. The exercise sessions, which Street described as a mix between upbeat aerobic dancing and strenuous toning work, will be held in unused offices across the city until the new facility opens. To determine who will be required to attend the sessions, the mayor himself will spend the next five weeks going door to door and weighing people. Street will begin walking University City streets on April 24. Street's spokeswoman Barbara Grant said she has heard only praise of the mayor's city-wide exercise plan. "The mayor spent a lot of time on City Council figuring out what this city needed and now he's putting his ideas into action," she said. "Forget schools, forget crime, Philadelphia needs to concentrate on the important issues -- like weight!" Penn students Against Exercise will be handing out donuts on Locust Walk all this week to protest Street's unfair treatment of chubby people.
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[NOTE: This article appeared in the annual joke issue.] In a move that may signal a loosening of the University's traditionally stringent drug policies, administrators have approved a measure allowing Student Health Services to prescribe "limited and prudent" marijuana use for medicinal purposes. The controversial decision was announced yesterday in a one-page statement released by SHS. Administrators "have elected to allow the prescription of cannabis to students when its use is deemed necessary for the alleviation of certain medical ailments," the statement read. The measure will take effect as soon as SHS officials find a reputable source of cannabis, as the plant is referred to when used medicinally, University spokesman Ken Wildes said yesterday. According to Wildes, the measure was formally proposed by newly appointed SHS Director Evelyn Wiener two weeks ago. But University health officials had been looking into the option for months. It then moved to University President Judith Rodin and Provost Robert Barchi, who consulted with Wiener, senior administrators and trustees. "Dr. Wiener felt very strongly about opening every possible channel to help students feel better, and the administration agreed," Wildes said. "They made a decision to get this stuff out to those who need it most." Patients suffering from a wide range of diseases, from AIDS and cancer to glaucoma and multiple sclerosis, often find marijuana to be the most -- and sometimes only -- effective treatment. Barchi, a noted neurologist, said he has supported the use of marijuana for medical purposes since his days in medical school. "It's time we drop this stigma regarding marijuana," he added. "We're not talking about blunts or bongs, we're talking about medicine here." Five states and the District of Columbia have enacted or will enact laws this year allowing restricted use of marijuana for medicinal purposes. Though Pennsylvania does not have any such laws on the books, University legal experts do not think Penn will have a problem. Phil Nichols, a Legal Studies professor, explained that in the past, institutions in similar situations have relied on the so-called medical necessity defense. "You play the good doctor role," Nichols explained. "When it comes to either harming the criminal code or harming yourself, in cases like this courts tend to side with the patients." In response to the decision, Penn Students Against Marijuana said they will smash bongs on Locust Walk tomorrow in protest.
