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After the ouster of controversial Secretary of Health and Human Services Tom Price, the Trump administration has announced his replacement: the homophobic man who vulgarly protests on College Green.
In a formal ceremony attended by past and present Penn leaders this Friday, Penn’s 2014 #1 Playboy Party school ranking banner was hoisted to the rafters of the Palestra, where it will remain for all time. Called “the greatest honor bestowed upon our University in three centuries of history” by President Amy Gutmann in a short speech preceding the ceremony, the ranking, from a 2014 edition of the soft pornographic magazine, was immortalized forever in the form of the banner.
Hey, dudes and dudettes, I see you guys are hella walking in the direction of an organized off-campus event right now, that’s so baller. I was wondering if I could tag along. I, who am totally not an undercover cop, am also looking to head down to the Smokey Joe's for some juice.