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We just lived through the highest pressure weekend of the year. Reality check: it wasn’t finals, it was Spring Fling. We obsess over this Penn ritual every year, counting down the days until we can gorge on fried Oreos, see and be seen on many a sun deck and rage to various beats.
In 1959, Lilly Pulitzer spilled orange juice on herself.
An actual text correspondence, March 26th, 12:55 p.m.:
Flipping through Cosmopolitan at the beach over spring break, Ali was surprised to find an insert fall out of the centerfold and onto her lap: Cosmo Careers. On the cover of this new offshoot from the mag, Facebook COO Sheryl Sandberg rocks a royal blue work dress with arms crossed confidently to showcase the sparkling rock on her ring finger. Work it. Looks like women may just be able to have it all.
While we all had to come back on Monday, some had something else in mind.
We were searching for a new best friend to help us write the column (Think Thrice?) through the new Facebook Graph Search feature. Landing on a brunette over 5-foot-7 who loves baby animals, “The Book of Mormon” and cheese plates, we figured we had found our perfect match. Right?
At Penn, we pride ourselves on our defining “work hard, play hard” mentality. It’s why many of us came. We were the cool but smart kids in high school, often straddling one friend group by day, another by night.
The pitcher throws a curveball. You hit a single up the middle and sprint to first, a line drive over the shortstop’s head takes you to second. After a ball in the dirt, you manage to steal third base.
While Beyonce was caught lipsyncing at the Presidential Inauguration, first daughters Sasha and Malia Obama were caught in the act — of Snapchat.
Dear Ali and Hayley,
The final rounds of sorority rush this week presented freshman hopefuls with the ultimate test: to eat, or not to eat?
Hola! Como te llamas?
In kindergarten we had to wait for our show-and-tell day to share with our classmates. Today, the blogosphere allows us to indulge the entirety of the web-surfing population with whatever we want, whenever we want. Whether we choose to promote vegan-cooking, tech advice or lesbians that resemble Justin Bieber, we unknowingly become an authority on whatever topic we tackle for a certain audience — even if it’s just mom or some (Facebook) friends.
Who run’ the world? Girls. Or more appropriately, girl — Lena Dunham.
Text received. It’s coded with subtle rhetorical devices and suggestive ellipses. You stare, paralyzed. The pressure mounts. How to respond?
Spring Fling suspends reality. After our introduction to a camel and naked-Wigger-filled Fling last year, we were unfazed by a bumpin’ Cruise America RV parked on the corner of 40th and Pine streets this weekend.
When we fly out of the nest and land in a Quad double (or glorified broom closet) freshman year, we feel liberated and eager to ditch our parents’ rituals and head to the nearest party. But as we kiss our parents goodbye and kiss college boys hello — metaphorically of course — we’ve found that we not only miss our families but also the range of traditions that colored our upbringings.
“Baby grind on me / Relax your mind and take your time on me / Let me get deeper shorty ride on me / Now come and sex me till your body gets weak with slow grindin’.”
Wah wah wah. Whether we’re whining about our professors, school facilities or our social lives — we’ve all got something negative to say about pretty much everything Penn. Our daily qualms include:
It’s noon. Liz grabs her copy of The Daily Pennsylvanian, breaks out her peanut butter and jelly sandwich and nestles into an armchair on the first floor of Houston Hall. No, her friends didn’t blow her off. Her appointment didn’t cancel last minute.