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Trump-mann Tweet of the Day

Rush Conversation Starters

It's sorority rush season, which is really just one big blur of black Canada Goose jackets, the phrase "we were just talking about", and the song "Sorry" by Justin Bieber. All conversations begin with "wow it's so cold/warm outside!", lead to "oh you're undecided? it's okay, you have so much time!" and end with "my coat is the black one with fur". We're here to tell you that it doesn't have to be that way. Here are some rush conversation starters that will 100% get you a bid*:

You Can Now Wear Your Canada Goose

It's cold now. 

Too Hot For Canada Geese

Dear Fellow Quakers,

Don't Miss Penn's First Tailgate

If you've ever felt like you're missing out on the College Experience by not attending a football school, then today's your day! Thanks to the Red & Blue Crew, Class Boards, and the DP, Penn is finally going to have their first football tailgate this Saturday. The free event will take place on Shoemaker Green starting at 1 pm. 

A Star-Studded Graduation

This year's graduation is going to be a little more exciting than in previous years – and no, not just because of the Commencement speaker. 

Shutterbutton: Pennsylvania Primary Day

Something is rotten in the state of Denmark, and it probably has something to do with Donald Trump

Pro/Con/Pro: Celebrating Earth Day

As we're almost positive a small minority of you must know, Earth Day is upon us. Yes, you heard us correctly: and you better be RECYCLING your red solo cups because today, April 22nd is that one day of the year you are supposed to care about our planet. But how far should you go? UTB has weighed the pros and cons of celebrating Earth Day-- see for yourself:

ShutterButton: Cowboys And Penn-dians

Way back when – aka, before Uber was a thing – Philadelphians traveled in one of two ways: by foot or by horse. Unfortunately, in 2016, the latter has nearly gone extinct. Here's to these folks for keeping the tradition alive. Giddy-up! 

A New Kind Of Gender Inequality

In the latest Battle of the Sexes, it seems that girls rule and boys drool. Or, at least, boys aren't very good at playing host. 

Who's Ready To Fling With Kanye?

Penn Makes A Wise Financial Decision, For Once

According to a recent report, Penn contributed $14.3 billion to Pennsylvania's economy last year. As the largest private employer in the city, Penn provides 1 out of every 9 jobs in Philadelphia.

Most Depressing Places On Campus, Volume XII: The Love Statue

Ah, the LOVE Statue. A truly iconic piece of our campus.

Random Dude At A Party, Mardi Gras Edition

It's that time of year again – Mardi Gras –where folks from all over flock to the streets of New Orleans in order to let the good times roll. These friendly fellas were found on Bourbon St., celebrating the occasion.

Gap's Got Eye Candy

A gaggle of headless, naked men was spotted at the Walnut Street Gap yesterday. If you're looking for some arm candy, or if you prefer a man(nequin) that doesn't talk too much, maybe consider taking one of these lookers for a spin – that is, if you don't mind being with someone who's a little plastic. 

Most Depressing Places On Campus Volume IX: The VP Basement Bathrooms

It's finals season, which means you're likely to spend a lot of time in the basement of Van Pelt...and because all those cups of coffee/cans of Red Bull/other stimulants have to go somewhere, you'll probably spend some time in those bathrooms too. It'd be nice to take a break from it all in a welcoming and hygenic place but that's just not the reality of the situation. 

Starbucks: Your New Favorite Furniture Store

If you've been looking for a way to pass the time while you wait for your grande skinny peppermint mocha – which you only ordered to delay studying another 5 minutes – today's your lucky day. Starbucks under Commons is currently featuring a pop-up furniture store, so now you can spend that time shopping for a new love seat instead of swiping through Tinder (which again, YOU'RE ONLY ON to delay studying another 5 minutes). 

Professor Of The Year

Have you ever wished you could just sneak a peek of your final exam? That wish came true for some Math 360 students. This technologically-challenged professor inadvertently sent an email — with final exam attached — meant only for the eyes of Elaine to his entire class. 

Non-Humans Of Penn, Volume II: The Dude On The WWII Memorial

"People think, you know, that I don't have feelings because I'm made of stone. But I'm sensitive. My facial expressions don't really change but that's just because I have RSF – Resting Statue Face. I have a lot of feelings. I care so much about the world. But I mean, I haven't always been this way... When I was younger I used to think being a statue meant being strong, stoic. But back in '55 or '56, I hit a turning point, or a shift in how I see myself, I guess. I just remember this girl sitting under me, crying after failing her first calculus midterm, and I felt like I was watching over her. I felt like I was protecting her. And I liked that feeling, it made me feel needed. 

Read This If You're Planning To Steal A Bicycle

A word of warning to all aspiring bike snatchers: Penn is getting tricky.