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Alyssa Schwenk | Even the best laid plans...

(09/01/10 10:28pm)

When I was in ninth grade, several of my classmates had to write an essay essentially titled “This Is How Fabulous My Life Will Be at 30.” A few earnestly wrote their acceptance speeches for the Best Actress Oscar. A few had dates for their wedding and weights for their babies. A few were running for president (yes. At 30, five years before anyone is Constitutionally eligible).



That's What Schwenk Said | Don’t wait it out on the waitlist

(04/19/10 8:06am)

Once upon a time, I was a high-school senior with questionable blonde highlights, a stellar resume and a head full of dreams about my amazing future — all of which began and ended with me attending The One Perfect School. TOPS, I was convinced, was going to make me an interesting person. I was going to come back with new clothes and new ideas and new friends, who were minor royals or former Olympians or from exotic countries like England. I would therefore be awesome.


That's What Schwenk Said | A thesis on mandatory theses

(04/12/10 7:49am)

There are two types of second-semester seniors: Those who write theses, and those who don’t. I’m unclear about exactly what the ones who don’t write a thesis do (I’ve heard rumors about Smokes and Blarney) but the ones who do write theses spend marathon weekends in the library, binge on cupcakes, overdose on Diet Coke, obsess over sub-chapter subtitles and have dreams where former U.S. President Richard Nixon wields a light saber while presiding over a Bachelor-style reality show.


That's What Schwenk Said | Bells not ringing for Quakers

(03/22/10 8:15am)

Over spring break, I got one of the biggest wake-up calls possible to remind me that I am (practically) a full-fledged adult. No, not another graduation e-mail, though I wasn’t exactly thrilled to pick up my cap and gown. It was a breathy, excited phone call from my oldest friend in the world — her boyfriend had proposed, and she wanted me to be a bridesmaid in her summer 2011 wedding.


That's What Schwenk Said | Soda tax would be more than just fizz

(03/15/10 8:24am)

My name is Alyssa, and I have a problem. My beverage of choice is always Diet Coke. One friend estimated that, when not sleeping or at the gym, the probability that I have a Diet Coke in either my hand or bag is around 80 percent. (It’s probably closer to 30 to 40 percent, but there’s no denying it’s my trademark beverage.) But despite my admitted over-consumption of soda, I’m still — very tentatively — in favor of Philadelphia Mayor Michael Nutter’s plans to levy a tax on sugary beverages.


That's What Schwenk Said | Actually looking forward to Huntsman

(03/01/10 9:43am)

This is the column I was never supposed to write. I purposefully planned my last column so I could address graduation speakers without doing a post-mortem whine on whomever the University chose to have address my dear Class of 2010. After four years of reading and editing the editorial page, one of my cardinal rules is, “Don’t touch grad speakers after they’re announced.” It is almost always a bad idea.



That's What Schwenk Said | A plan not to be taken for Grant-ed

(02/08/10 9:00am)

P resident Barack Obama unveiled his budget plan last week, and like most things involving him, it was accompanied by a fair amount of noise — this time, over the fact that the President froze non-defense, non-security discretionary spending. And (probably like most of you), I’m a little unclear on what that means. One thing I’m thrilled about, though, is Obama’s desire to expand the Pell Grant program for college students. It’s about damn time.



That's What Schwenk Said | Minor changes, major problems

(01/25/10 11:19am)

Call me old-fashioned, but every time I hear about a new, specialized major or minor in the College — like the announcement earlier this month of an international-development minor — I get suspicious. Maybe it’s because my majors (history and communication) are wonderfully vague in terms of their potential applications, but nontraditional majors and minors automatically make me worry about universities caving into students’ whims and possibly eliminating older, but important, programs.