OP-ED: Why Wasn't My Grandmother Included Among This Year's Grammy Nominees?
(11/28/17 8:30am)
I have a bone to pick with The Recording Academy.
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Brave! Freshman Showers in Bare Feet
(11/25/17 3:10pm)
Jon Sallon (C '21) is no ordinary freshman.
Penn Researchers: We Can Now Definitively Say Dinosaurs Liked Cuddling
(11/16/17 5:08pm)
Penn researchers are at it again. Adding to a list of impressive feats like discovering the moon, scientists at Penn have now solved an age-old question: did dinosaurs like to cuddle?
OP-ED: I'm Not a Bandwagon Eagles Fan, They're My Home Team Now
(11/12/17 3:06pm)
Look, I'm not a bandwagon fan of the Philadelphia Eagles.
Future Penn ED Reject Confident He Will Write No More Applications
(11/09/17 3:43pm)
Edward Liu, a high school senior from Radnor, Pennsylvania, submitted his Early Decision application to Penn last week. Sources say that Liu is confident that application will be his last.
MSG is Good for You: Study Funded by Big Noodle Causes Mass Increase in Ramen Consumption
(11/03/17 3:45am)
MSG is good for you, according to a new study led by researchers at Penn Medicine. The study was generously funded by Nongshim Co.
Disney Princesses Reimagined as Penn Dorms
(11/01/17 10:29pm)
You might have seen photos of Disney princesses reimagined in modern times, as queens, or even as potatoes. What you didn't know was that architects of Penn's College Houses have been reimagining Disney princesses as dorms for years. Check out the list below:
Here's What Penn Crushes Would Look Like If It Didn't Reject Submissions
(10/29/17 3:40pm)
It happens to the best of us. You submit a beautifully crafted ode for your favorite hottie to the Penn Crushes page. You check the page regularly, eagerly waiting for it to appear. But alas, it never does.
Amy Gutmann Lambasts Cyberbullying in Official Unofficial Penn Squirrel Catching Club
(10/28/17 3:35am)
In a recent university-wide email, President Amy Gutmann addressed a crucial, commonly overlooked issue on campus: the rampant cyberbullying in Penn's meme group, Official Unofficial Penn Squirrel Catching Club. Specifically, she cited the incessant cyberbullying of herself.
Amazing! Penn Professor Discovers That Sine-Squared Is a Parabola
(10/18/17 4:21am)
It was shaping up to be just another PHYS 150 lecture. But then, inspiration suddenly struck Professor Chuck Jackson, who was writing out the small angle approximation for the sine function on the board.
Guest Columnist | I'm Bored of Ranting to My Facebook Friends, So I'll Do It Here Instead
(10/17/17 9:25am)
Hi. It's me.
Wow! These Penn Students are Changing the World
(10/12/17 2:48pm)
In the hustle and bustle of everyday life, sometimes it's easy to forget that the University of Pennsylvania is a motherfucking Ivy League institution, which means the students here are awesome. We interviewed three current undergraduates at Penn who are changing the world with their work:
Dastardly Professor Moves Midterm to After Drop Deadline to Fuck Students Over
(10/11/17 3:59am)
Professor Robert McElroy is nothing short of a genius. This venerated giant of Penn's Math Department graduated from high school at the age of 14, earned his PhD by age 20, and has spent the last 50 or so years coming up with brand new ways to make his students' lives a living hell.
I Hugged Amy Gutmann: She's Actually Pretty Friendly and Nice
(10/06/17 4:39am)
Before I met Amy Gutmann, the president of our university, I didn't have a very high opinion of her. I'd seen many negative memes about her, and read an article from a very reputable news source pointing out that the value of her celery is enormous. I agreed that while she might have done well in raising funds for the university, there were clearly issues on campus that she was not adequately addressing.
Freshman Weirds Out Club Members with Honest When2meet Responses
(10/04/17 12:20pm)
For every Penn student aiming to change the world, there are another hundred who feel no desire to break from tradition. Ben Putnam (W'19) is one of those students. Putnam, the chair of the Penn Undergraduate Transportation Society, marked the end of club application season - and thus, the end of his responsibilities - by sending out the expected semesterly When2meet.
Penn Promises to Build New Asian American Studies Building on 35th Street
(09/26/17 6:36am)
After a semester of student-led protests and petitions urging administrators to direct more resources into the Asian American studies program, extremely receptive Penn administrators have taken a huge step toward securing the future of the program. Penn recently announced plans to build a new Center for Asian American Studies on 35th Street, right in the heart of Penn's campus.
Sad! Junior Rejected From Internships She Didn't Even Apply To
(09/21/17 3:10pm)
When junior Penelope Marsh (C'18) checked her email inbox on Wednesday morning, she found a slew of internship rejection emails - nine, to be precise. The incident, already depressing, was exacerbated by a baffling fact: Marsh did not remember applying to any of these internships.
Penn Chalk Marketing Society Holds Inaugural GBM
(09/21/17 4:18pm)
"Do you ever see sidewalk chalk advertisements for events and auditions and think, 'damn, I wish my club members cared that much'?" So began the first general body meeting of the University of Pennsylvania Chalk Marketing Society. At the meeting, which was held on Tuesday evening in Huntsman F95, chair and founder Jonah Meier (W'19) spoke about his vision for the new club to a rapt audience of seven.
Conspiracy Alert: Are Penn and Amazon in Cahoots?
(09/12/17 8:42pm)
Have you ever felt that there's something sinister about Amazon@Penn? Are you worried Whole Foods will drive Costco out of business one day? Do you believe that FroGro is our last, greatest champion?
Your Crush Tagged You In a Meme: What Does It Mean?
(09/05/17 5:53am)
"_____ _______ mentioned you in a comment."