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ICYMI: Our University Played A Crucial, Prominent Role In NYTimes Crossword

(07/03/14 3:58pm)

Did you know Ben Franklin founded our school? Yes? Then you would've absolutely killed 3-Down on the NYTimes crossword from a couple days ago---unless you're the poor soul that's still convinced "UPenn" has four letters. Other fun facts about Benjamin Franklin: he was also a Founding Father of our nation (the United States of America), and his name was Benjamin Franklin.

Finals Trends: A Graphical 2D Experience

(05/02/14 4:09pm)

Ah, finals: because your self esteem is too high and because midterms aren't cruel and unusual enough. We hate to get all mathetmatical on ya---especially in this trying time, but with the use of some  very scientific numerical raw data , we've put together a list of graphs that 2-dimensionalize (?) the finals experienstruggle. Whether you're deciding on if it's a good time to start 'Game of Thrones' or are just "seriously screwed," scroll down and look at the pretty pictures already.

Drunk Fight In Vegas: George Clooney VS Steve Wynn

(04/25/14 3:14pm)

Movie idea: powers clash as alum/Wynn Commons namesake gets into a tipsy tussle with George Clooney in a Vegas hotel. Based on a true story, because apparently that's what happened over dinner a few nights ago. The brawl was only verbal but when heinous comments are made about one's presidential friends, it sure as hell feels like sticks and stones. As The Monuments Man himself explained: I said the President was my longtime friend and then he said "your friend is an asshole." ... At that point I told Steve that HE was an asshole and I wasn't going to sit at his table while he was being such a jackass. It's still Up In The Air as to who ended up Wynning.

UTB Photo Contest: Hashtag Your #Flingstagrams!

(04/10/14 10:45pm)

Ayyyyyy Fling is upon us, people! Whether you're already intoxicated WITH KNOWLEDGE from your Thursday classes or not, listen up. UTB has thrown together a little scavenger hunt so if you like scavenging and you like hunting, participate in our photo contest. Below is a list of items for you to seek---some things open to interpretation.

BREAKING: Satan Realizes There's More To Life

(03/31/14 11:10pm)

That's right, folks, looks like the devil's turning over a new fig leaf. Some local photographic evidence suggests that our fiery frenemy just got fed up drizzy drunk one night and said, y'know what? To hell with hell. It's about time I ditch this whole pitchforkin' gig and try something new. So where's Lucifer now? Probably interning at Pitchfork or Comcast customer service.

ShutterButton: Meet Our New Li'l Baby Contribz

(02/05/14 8:19pm)

Ahem, introducing UTB's five shiny new contributors! Here they are, shivering in front the all-seeing Button last night, just after getting a blindfolded tour of our beautiful campus and just before getting initiated into the Upsilon Tau Beta bloggerhood. Don't worry, things never got as hazy as that uggo pollution plume in front of the Love statue. Here's to bringing you more hilarity and hijinks on the daily.