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(11/19/14 3:24pm)

Free fried chicken at Federal Donuts today – and all you have to do is show up. No problem in this cold, right? Zagat released their annual list of the 50 Best Philly Restaurants and they're celebrating (Amy's birthday) by giving everyone chicken. So hurry, because it's today only!



It's A Bird! It's A Plane! It's A Porta Potty!

(10/30/14 7:25pm)

Spotted soaring high above campus around 39th and Chestnut: a beacon of hope for our midterm-worn souls. This porta potty proves that the American dream is real, people. Anyone – nay, anything – can do whatever they set their mind to. If a construction worker can lay bricks at such a high altitude, you can ace/tackle/fix/outdrink/survive the next big thing in your life. If a porta potty can fly, you can do literally anything. Go out there and get done what needs to get done. Seize the day. Crape diem!




The 6 Types of RAs

(10/14/14 2:23am)

By now you're deep enough into fall semester to realize we have these things called Residential Assistants (Advisors?) in and around campus. They're an abundant species, and you've probably seen them roaming the halls of your college house like they run the place. Well they do, and here are the different varieties that you gotta look out for.


UCity District Generously Installs New Place For Hobos To Sleep On Campus

(10/11/14 9:51pm)

Please welcome the latest addition to our beautiful campus: these^ loopy benches that give us the same amount of sitting space for 3 times as much wood. Intended "to provide spaces for social interaction," these benches clearly forgot that, ahem, we're already the social ivy. Either way, don't worry. These things are robust. It's not like one of the slats is already falling off or anything. Thanks UniversityCity District!


7 Penn Things That Can Use A Little More Autumnal Charm

(10/09/14 9:28pm)

Happy Fall Break one and all! We know what you're thinking: uh, it doesn't even really feel like fall. Sure it's a little chillier but the trees are still mostly green. Where the heck is all that hot-cocoa-apple-cider-fall-fashion-crisp-morning-cinnamon-sweater-harvest-bounty aura??? We've thought of a few things on campus that could use a little more autumnal charm.


ShudderBOOttun: The Case Of The Missing Stacks

(10/06/14 5:27pm)

Halloween came early this year, folks. First the Shriek Lady and now this. Here we see the 5th floor of Van Pelt with a few things mYsTeRiOusLy missing: the stacks. They’ve vanished. Some quick sleuthing tells us that these stacks formed the East Asia Collection but either way, this can only mean one, terrifying thing: no more BJ privacy. “S-s-so, what h-h-happened to the s-stacks?” you ask nervously. Well, maybe Johns Hopkins stole them. Or maybe the ghosts of VP5 just wanted to have a ballroom dance night. But here’s the scary truth: it’s probably just temporary for some remodeling. 


ShudderBOOttun: SHRIEK LADY

(09/24/14 4:21pm)

Eek! Nothin' like an eerie coating of spiderweb to rein in.........late September? If there's such a thing as too early for Halloween decor, Greek Lady is blissfully unaware of it---just like they are with how much cucumber sauce to put on a gyro. Speaking of which, they went  ALL OUT: Spooky hay bales? DEMONS of nightmares past? Ghostly pale EMPLOYEES? The only thing scarier is probably the party event that Amy's throwing on Halloween. Oh, and maybe how much we love ya, GL ;).


ShudderBOOttun: SHRIEK LADY

(09/24/14 4:10pm)

Eek! Nothin' like an eerie coating of spiderweb to rein in.........late September? If there's such a thing as too early for Halloween decor, Greek Lady is blissfully unaware of it---just like they are with how much cucumber sauce to put on a gyro. Speaking of which, they went ALL OUT: Spooky hay bales? DEMONS of nightmares past? Ghostly pale EMPLOYEES? The only thing scarier is probably the party event that Amy's throwing on Halloween. Oh, and maybe how much we love ya, GL ;).



PennApps Fall 2K14: The Woulds, Shoulds, Coulds, and Winners

(09/16/14 11:23pm)

Ah PennApps. You either love it, or aren't smart enough to participate. This past weekend's hackathon brought coding-minded folk to our Engineering Quad from all over the world. Why? For the free food obvi. But also for a shot at a $5,000 grand prize, the validation of fellow nerds, and countless other goodies from sponsors like Facebook, Venmo, and GitHub. 


Race To The UA Fall 2K14: The Punpocalypse

(09/14/14 3:23pm)

Ah, can you smell it in the air? No, not the densely packed, sleepless CS geeks over at PennApps. We're talking freshman class board election. It's here! And with it comes a swarm of poorly Photoshopped campaign posters, cringeworthy campaign puns, and the perennial chirp of attention-seeking freshmen. So, as we've done in semesters past, lets take a critical look at this fall's campaign harvest, shall we?


ShutterButton: Meet Our Fresh New Contribz

(09/12/14 3:42pm)

Hear ye, hear ye! Please give a lukewarm welcome to the Alright Eight, the newest members of the Upsilon Tau Beta bloggerhood! Here they are standing sightless before the all-seeing Button last night, just before swearing an oath to protect you from y'know, whatever. They've endured an evening of ruthless, extremely fraternal, very college hazing and are finally ready to write on the hard hitting stuff, like not-so covert blowjobs, commonroaches, and hairy granola. To the latenight VPers that gave us questioning looks as the walked by: 'sup?


While Supplies Last: Saxbys Offers Granola With a Literal Clump of Hair

(09/10/14 2:20pm)

Oh Saxybs. We expect nothing of you yet you still somehow manage to let us down. In this addition to our endless list of campus food fuckups, it appears that one of the granola cups comes with a little extra fiber. Maybe they're doing a golden ticket thing where if you're lucky enough to get a hair clump, you get to go to the wig factory where they process their granola. BLEGHK. Saxbys? More like sux, bye!


While Supplies Last: Saxbys Offers Granola With a Literal Clump of Hair

(09/10/14 2:11pm)

Oh Saxybs. We expect nothing of you yet you still somehow manage to let us down. In this addition to our endless list of  campus food fuckups, it appears that one of the granola cups comes with a little extra fiber. Maybe they're doing a golden ticket thing where if you're lucky enough to get a hair clump, you get to go to the wig factory where they process their granola. BLEGHK. Saxbys? More like sux, bye!