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Wanna Get High At The Biopond? Bring An Umbrella

(03/29/15 1:48pm)

Well, looks like the HIGHer-ups finally figured out that people smoke at the Biopond (probably after reading our list of Best Places To Smoke Weed On Campus) and they've taken, shall we say...dramatic action. The sign above has been strategically placed at the main entrance and, as you can see, the consequences are SEVERE. Good news is, if you missed out on the ALS Ice Bucket Challenge, now's your chance to get in on one. You're harming your lungs, but at least it'll be for a good cause!

It's A Bird! It's A Plane! It's...A Huge Chain Of Frogro Bags?

(03/25/15 5:28pm)

If you looked up from your phone for once, you probably noticed this plastic bag tightrope between two rooms in Harnwell and Harrison this morning. There are a lot of things we want to know, like: who? what? when? how? and why? While we'd like to believe they did it using some complex drone maneuvers, they probably just started making two separate chains from each room, let them reach the ground, connected them in the middle, and then pulled it tight...which is a lot of work for something that probably already got taken down by the time you're reading this—not to mention, a lot of groceries. 

Your 2K15 (Literally Two K '15) Fling Artists: KYGO and KESHA!!!

(03/21/15 9:41pm)

Well, it's not every year that we find out who the headliner is before the opener, but no one's complaining (about that)...except maybe whoever runs SPEC's event page. Anyway, Kesha and Kygo! (Keshgo? Kysha?) Whaddya think!? Not one, but TWO Ks! And definitely not three! For those of you who don't know, Kygo's a professional neck model and DJ—it just wouldn't be Fling without one. And Kesha, for the sub-rock dwellers is, well, someone who brushed her teeth with a bottle of Jack Daniels once. Get excited! Floor pass sign-ups start on Monday. As SPEC's Concerts Director put it so eloquently, "We can expect a performance."

Professors: They're Just Like Hobbits!

(03/06/15 1:29pm)

Not quite sure why Anonymous, son of Anonythorn (and BEPP student) used a worse version of Aragorn's speech, but professor Harrington couldn't resist replying. He tries defending professorkind by saying they're just like hobbits...but that's exactly what an evil wizard would want you to believe. Gotta hand it to him though for not pulling a low hanging "shall not pass" joke, but in the end, comparing managerial econ to the light of Eärendil was questionable—good luck fighting a giant spider with your budgeting spreadsheet, kids.

In A Surprise Twist, The College Gets Something Nice Instead Of Wharton

(02/19/15 5:33am)

We dunno what you guys over at The College did to impress them, but the Dogs up above have finally decided to smile down on you. Check it: you've been blessed with a new website—and daauyyum, it's one of the few that comes close to looking as good as ours. Anyway, look under your seat because there's more. Thanks to an overall chill move by the Dean's Advisory Board, The College also has some brand new swag, bringing the University's most populous school one step closer to balancing out the nauseating overabundance of Wharton apparel. So Gryffindors, this one's for you. 

PennApps Winter 2K15: Penguins and Losses

(01/19/15 2:10pm)

Ah, PennApps: a weekend-long hackathon reminding us that it only takes three days into a semester for Enginerds to be pulling all nighters. But instead of a good grade, it's all for something that's actually important: a chance at over $46K in prize money from sponsors like Facebook, Intel, and Comcast—an opportunity that draws pr0gr@mm3rs from all over the country to our Engineering Quad.

There Is A Rhodes Scholar Among Us

(12/07/14 12:11am)

After a five-year dry spell, Penn finally gets a Rhodes Scholar – that's what they call someone who's won one of the oldest and most prestigious scholarships from Oxford University. So meet Rutendo Chigora, College senior, Penn World Scholar, Benjamin Franklin Scholar, and now Rhodes Scholar. Safe to say she's pretty smart. As a busy IR and polisci major, she has no time for you. Her side hustles include: founding ZW Connect, editing for the Sigma Iota Rho Journal for International Relations, and being the caliber of student your parents always wanted you to be. She even received a personal, tweeted congratulations from Dean Deturck. 

The 5 Best Trash Cans For Squirrels To Eat Out Of Before Winter

(11/25/14 6:06pm)

Winter is coming. And at a University where the squirrels probably outnumber the students, that means lots of plumping up for the long, hibernative haul. But just like us, squirrels want the best for themselves – which is why we've put together this little guide for our little friends. Pass this post along to the squirrels you see most often (lookin' at you, Sparky) to help them prep for the winter. You know they'd do the same for you.

ShutterButton: PennVet Wants To Know If Your Dog Has Diarrhea

(11/19/14 5:06pm)

Look, here at UTB we love dogs as much as the next person. Pretty much everyone has one with them on campus and honestly, they're what make this four-year degree worth it. That's why it's especially important that we ask: does your dog have diarrhea? Because PennVet really, really wants to know – so much so, that they've put up signage literally everywhere. If there's one thing that could make your walk down Locust a little more scenic, or your photo in front of the Love statue a little more memorable, it's a subtle reminder that loose and watery canine stool is a thing.