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Holy Shit! Erin and Melissa Became Facebook Friends Exactly One Year Ago

(10/09/17 7:35am)

It's official. The day is finally here. On this day, October 9th, 2017, sophomores Erin McCarthy and Melissa Ryan have been Facebook Friends for exactly one calendar year. And thank God they shared the news with the world, or else millions of people may never have realized the gravity of the day.

MERT Reject Starts Vigilante Emergency Response Group

(10/07/17 8:23pm)

The Penn Medical Emergency Response Team (MERT) is one of several ways for students to make a tangible impact on campus. Members spend many nights volunteering to ensure the safety of others on campus. Recently, MERT inducted its new class of volunteers; however, much to his disappointment, freshman David Rodriguez (C ’21) did not make the cut.

I Hugged Amy Gutmann: She's Actually Pretty Friendly and Nice

(10/06/17 4:39am)

Before I met Amy Gutmann, the president of our university, I didn't have a very high opinion of her. I'd seen many negative memes about her, and read an article from a very reputable news source pointing out that the value of her celery is enormous. I agreed that while she might have done well in raising funds for the university, there were clearly issues on campus that she was not adequately addressing.

Five Bad Movies To See Over Fall Break Instead of Finally Watching Moonlight

(10/05/17 5:03pm)

Have you been "meaning to watch" Moonlight for the twelve months since it premiered but somehow haven't gotten around to it? Same!  Here are five bad films you can fill your free time with this fall break, so you can continue to postpone watching Barry Jenkins' groundbreaking, critically-acclaimed story of self discovery.

Earthshaking: Guy Who Only Talks About Being From New York Going Back to The City for Break

(10/05/17 7:54pm)

After leaving so many familiar faces back home last month, Nathaniel Simmons (W’ 21) is ready to leave the backwater city of Philadelphia in favor of greener pastures. Like the prodigal son returning home, he’s heading back to New York for break and he’s got to let everyone know about it. At every turn in his first 5 weeks on campus Nat has been sure to mention that he's from the Big Apple.

QUIZ: You Took My Laundry Out of the Machine. Are You Happy With Yourself?

(10/07/17 5:14am)

Hey, you. I don't know who you are, but I do know one thing: you took my laundry out and set it in a careless, wet heap atop the machine. I didn't even get a chance to move it myself to the dryer, and I set a fucking timer, which means you pulled this bullshit while my clothes were still in the wash. So I've got a few questions for you, punk:

Student Calculates Number of Ways to Reconstruct His Schedule After Dropping CIS 160

(10/04/17 12:24pm)

Midterm season is upon us! Many schedules (and self-esteems built up by excelling during high school with little effort) won't survive it. Perhaps no class will see a larger net change, however, than CIS 160. Penn has graciously made the class a requirement for CIS majors and minors, so  students have the opportunity to take it until they pass.

​Stressed Wharton Students Find Solace in Internship VR Experience

(10/05/17 4:10pm)

With OCR ongoing and many working to secure their internships for the Summer of 2018 2019 2020, some finance students are buckling under the overwhelming pressure to be better than all of their peers. While many destress by trading penny stocks or monitoring their families’ offshore accounts, some have turned to a new, alternative technology for decompression: a state-of-the-art internship virtual-reality simulation.