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Professor McDaniel's New Class on Nothingness Will Never Meet

(10/11/17 5:42am)

Religious Studies Professor Justin McDaniel is no stranger to unorthodox classes. Students know him best for Living Deliberately: Monks, Saints, and the Contemplative Life, a course where students must adopt the practices of monks for a month, as well as for the more recent Existential Despair, a class that meets every Tuesday for seven hours and gives no assignments outside of this time. 



Modern Day Al Capone Steals Bread from Dining Hall

(10/11/17 5:05am)

When Stanley “Slick” Sullivan (W’21) walks through the aisles of 1920 Commons, a cloud of fear descends upon the hall. In just two short months, tales of this freshman’s infamy have spread far and wide. Ask Slick’s cronies about his exploits, and you’ll be lucky to receive anything more than a thin lipped sneer and a gravelly warning against “people sticking their noses where they got no business.”


Wharton Professors Actually Warby Parker Marketing Associates

(10/10/17 4:23pm)

It's a tale as old as time: you're sitting in a nondescript Wharton class, thinking about ways you can tear your classmates down and destroy their futures, when the professor pulls out the classic: “Warby Parker is a great example of this...”. You snap out of your daydream, give a little eye roll to your friend, and make one addition to the vast amount of knowledge you have about this goddamn company.






Sophomore Busted For Possession After Making Venmo Caption: "Drugs"

(10/10/17 5:15am)

Eric Shuster (C '20) was standing at the corner of 39th and Walnut, waiting to receive a small Ziploc bag filled with drugs, when he realized that he was in a predicament. While he made his simple, secure, and practically fun exchange of mobile currency for narcotics, Shuster wondered: what would he make his Venmo caption?


Intro Biology Class Plunges Into Chaos After Professor Drops Course

(10/10/17 3:41am)

The drop period ended at midnight on Monday, and one class member’s last-minute departure has hit an introductory biology lecture particularly hard. The course’s professor, Dr. David Abelson, decided to drop, explaining that the class “failed to match his interests” and “was stupid.” However, the sudden move left a power vacuum that has yet to be securely filled.









New Capogyro Cart Transforms Penn Food Truck Game

(10/09/17 7:23am)

In the diverse and highly competitive world of Penn food trucks, it’s becoming harder and harder to differentiate from the pack. But one wayward but intrepid businessman is looking to break the mold and revolutionize dining in University City. Just a week after leaving its old location on Walnut Street, the former Capogiro is making its triumphant, completely reimagined return as a Gelato-Halal fusion food cart.