It’s difficult for many college students to stay in shape and remain healthy while balancing all of their commitments. It’s even more difficult to do so while not playing a real sport.
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Dear Soul Sister,
Ah, homecoming: a blur of red and blue, “LOL, school spirit!” Instagram captions, and excuses to binge eat Copa Spanish fries at 4 pm.
When you think of Penn’s student body, words like “elitist”, “pretentious”, or “snobby” might be a few that come to mind. However, there is one student, Mark Ricci (C '20), who is absolutely shattering these stereotypes.
Last week, 34th Street released the senior superlative recipients for the Class of 2018. Many of them were quite unique. Among our favorites were “Most Likely to Quit Their Office Job and Become a Farmer” and “Most Likely to Write an Inflammatory Facebook Post.” However, not all of the interesting ones made the cut. We’re here to show you what you missed.
A new study has found that Penn students are less likely to attend downtowns if there is no professional photographer at the event.
Philadelphia, PA — A mere 46 seconds after audibly farting in a quiet lecture, Daniel Crawford (E '19) shifted uncomfortably in his seat, rearranged the items on his desk, and remarked in a booming whisper to the student next to him, "Man, this classroom always smells weird." As the stench of his unsettlingly loud flatulence hung in the air all around him and dispersed into adjacent rows of the lecture hall, Crawford repeatedly coughed and kicked the rubber sole of his shoe against the seat in front of him, hoping desperately to recreate the distinct sound of his fart and persuade his classmates that it was actually his shoe all along. "I don't know what it is," he whispered again to his seatmate, "maybe it's coming from outside? The windows are usually open in here." Tortured by the realization that the odor hadn't dissipated by the end of class, Crawford remarked "Seriously, it's so gross," shaking his head in unconvincing disappointment as he left the noxious greenhouse that the auditorium had become. Sources at the scene confirmed Crawford's allegation that "it's like this every week," but pointed to Crawford himself and his food truck burrito lunch as the probable cause of the issue. Crawford could not be reached for comment, as he had sprinted directly to the bathroom upon exiting the class.
Just in time! Dr. Wallon Bradley finished making his CHEM101 midterm exam this weekend in an all-night amphetamine- and caffeine-fueled stupor, according to sources in the Chemistry building.
Sources close to Penn President Amy Gutmann revealed this Saturday that her daughter, Princeton professor Abigail Gutmann Doyle, was originally baptised under the name "New Baby."
OP-ED: I Know We Should Be Discussing Mental Health, But I Still Find It Weird That 'Schindler's List' Had a Sex Scene
Look, I get it. We need to have a meaningful dialogue about mental health. Without a robust and honest conversation, we will never erode the stigma surrounding mental health and help each other live more balanced lives.
Although it has been less than five months since 2017 College graduate Becky Abrams left Penn, she reported feeling peculiar upon returning to campus for Homecoming weekend.
When College junior Terrence Colton decided to spice up his club's monthly GBM by switching it to a potluck dinner instead, he had big plans for how it would turn out. "It's gonna be so great," he said. "Instead of just a boring PowerPoint slideshow, everyone's gonna bring their own dish, and we'll have a delightful meal of home-cooked goods!"
On Saturday, Penn’s football team played one of its biggest games of the year against Princeton. The intense Penn-Princeton rivalry has sparked not only intense feelings from both sides, but also rivalry-specific apparel, too – the most iconic of which is the “Puck Frinceton” t-shirt.
Hannah Poller (C ’18) hates seeing her friends stressed.
To newcomers, Penn seems like a lively community with so much to offer. However, beyond the cheery pamphlets and welcoming smiles of tour guides, Penn harbors a complex web of decisions that all students struggle to navigate. With students juggling so many different activities, it’s almost impossible to have it all. In fact, it’s very possible to have none of it.
Wow! Facebook just made headlines, adding an "Actually Going" option to the site's existing event response options.
Martin O’Malley (W ’18) was offered an all-inclusive trip to New York City to interview with four managing directors at J.K Morgan. The firm graciously offered to pay for O’Malley’s transportation (hello Amtrak, peace out Megabus) and a night at the cheapest hotel next to the corporate headquarters. How could anyone say no?
Friday afternoon, around a table at Sweetgreen, Kelsey Peters (C '18) finished telling a full saga about the day she and her family went to Germany to pick up her horse, Blue. Despite the clear ambivalence of her party, it was clear that Peters had no idea how unrelatable her story was.